I want to be fabulous at fifty

@CrazyCupCakes

Dear Davina,

First off, thanks for sharing your experience. I think it's really cool that you want to improve yourself, and it shows in the fact that you posted on this forum.

Also, I just wanted to say, I can't 100% relate to you because I must admit, I don't have a binge eating problem. I actually have the opposite, I don't eat, especially when I'm sad. I got to an unhealthy weight once, and tried to increase my weight. I did the same things, counting calories, etc. For a while, it worked. But it never lasted because of all the hassle it takes to count calories and micromanage everything. At the end of the day I'd stop eating for days because I was sad, and I'm chronically depressed thanks to my genes and my garbage parents and childhood.

Honestly, that was the first time I felt like I could somewhat empathise with overweight people. Because lets be honest, the general image of overweight people is that they are lazy or eat junk food 24/7. I think most people just think that it's easy to not be fat, to be a "normal" weight just because the majority of people have a "normal" body. Being thin myself, I don't think I ever understood or cared to understand what overweight people might've been going through. But I've realised that changing your body isn't easy and managing my meals was definitely not easy. I mean, in the end I gave up. You really can't just tell people to "get thinner" or "gain weight". It's not that simple.

Now I'm at a healthier weight, but also my life is going in a better direction. I wouldn't say that all the underlying issues have been completely dealt with, but it's getting there. I've improved my social life and I also take therapy sessions from a therapist who meshes well with my personality. I wouldn't say it's all good, but I'd say I'm going in a generally good direction and I intend to continue on it.

So I wonder if maybe there is something within you causing you to express your grief in that manner, where you binge eat?

Because I didn't achieve a healthy weight from managing my calories; I gave up on that a looooong long time ago. I hated that calorie counting bullcrap. But I naturally ate more normally as I started dealing with my underlying psychological issues. I also sleep a little more normally now.

In other words I'm saying, your binge eating could be a symptom and not a cause/main problem. I mean it could be psychological, or it could be physical, like maybe there is a hormone imbalance?

Lately I've had less instances of starving myself, even though I still do it at times, admittedly. It's frustrating. But I am not ashamed or guilty, only because, we all have our weaknesses. Yes, I did fall back into my bad habits again, but haven't I been working on it so far? Haven't I actually put effort into improving myself? I know one thing for sure I am not where I was before, despite the setbacks. A setback doesn't discount your hard work. You shouldn't be ashamed. We all have our days when we are weak, when we are vulnerable, and inevitably fall back into our bad habits. And that's ok. That's human. After you've fallen back, just stand up and start improving yourself again whenever you're ready. As long as you continue to progress, and make sure you progress more than you've regressed, it's ultimately ok. What's not ok is if you fall back and then you just give up. Cause that'll get you nowhere.

Maybe you've stopped binge eating for a while, but today you've started binge eating again. That's ok. Just stop whenever you can, and start improving yourself again. There's no rush, there's no shame. You're just human after all.

Anyways, sorry if any of the things I said was completely unhelpful or rude. I have absolutely no intentions of hurting you or being insensitive to you, so I am sorry in advance if I was.

I hope that even if my message was unhelpful, that there was still something you could take away from it.

I'm rooting for you! Good luck!