food
i am a pendulum that swings between two extremes. i either eat far too little or far too much. a week ago, i sustained myself on half a banana a day, finding some sick pride in my lightheadedness, in my empty stomach. just yesterday, i ate two bags of chips and a packet of cookies in addition to a three normal meals, and i feel terrible. food is supposed to be something that helps me live, not something that's killing me. i despise myself, and fight the urge to take a knife to my fatty flesh and cut it all off. i can't do that, though. instead i'll crawl back to the scale like the monster i am and cry when i see the numbers ticking upward. maybe i'll just skip lunch again tomorrow. it's not like i want people to see me eat, anyways.
@alittlewanderer I have done the same in a long time. That made me round my highest weight ever. It's important that you keep weighing yourself to keep track on your weight. Bc you are starving yourself, and it makes sense that you overeat, when you are starving yourself. Start with eating three normal meals, and stay at that. That will help you to not overeat :)