The terrible truth
I miss my eating disorder. It made me feel.. good. Missing a meal.. makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I'm a step closer to being skinnier. The burning I get when I don't eat feels like my body punishing me for eating in the first place. The feeling I get when I don't eat.. it is just some kind of satisfaction. I know that sounds stupid and there is probably something wrong with me.. but I miss that feeling of satisfaction...
I was recovered for about a year and half. And then today i was sexually assaulted. I feel like im slipping back, I hate myself so much right now and im so scared.
I'm so sorry to hear that @intellectualtalker48. Don't hate yourself because none of this was your fault, the attacker is to blame. Don't allow this person take away your sense of peace. And it's okay to feel scared. I'm here for you.
Thank you. Everything reminds me of him. I dont know if i can get throught this.
You will. You're a survivor. If you know this person you should report it. There might be or will be other victims if this person isn't stopped. But just know that you're not the first girl to ever go through this. Please don't let this experience change your life in a negative way, let this experience make you stronger than ever before.
You absolutely can get through this. It took so much strength to recover from your eating disorder initially, and that same strength is going to help you heal from this. Please reach out if you want to talk. I can relate to both the ED and the assault and would be more than happy to talk through everything with you. Stay strong, you are an amazing person and neither your eating disorder nor your assaulter have any right to make you feel otherwise. <3
Holasoyanorexicaybulimicadesdelos 16asmegustarconocerpersonasquehallanpasadoporestoo loestenpasando.Muchosbesos!!!
Its imporartantto remember, thats completely normal! I miss my eating disorder greatly now I'm nearly recovered and it can be hard to find the same satisfaction in other areas of your life. BUT it wont be there forever, the more hard work you put in on yourself, the less you will miss you. List all of the things your eating disorder took away from you, and you will start to remember why you dont need to miss such a horrible illness <3
~Elfen
You are such a brave girl you know. I used to not be able to understand what eating disorder is all about until I experienced it myself. I lost 30 pounds quick and gained it back within just weeks due to binge eating and still struggling w it now. I miss the discipline, the pleasure, the sense of achievement. But be brave. Run after your well being. Chase after your happiness. It's gonna be worth it. You're brave and strong and you're set apart because of this. :) love.
I suffered from anorexia as a kid,and as i got older i gained a few pounds yes sometimes i feel like maybe if i skipped that meal i would be a bit skinnier but then i list all the terrible things my eating disorder did to me,and remember how i should love myself for who i am not what i look like. Always remember that you are beautiful and that people love you for other reasons than the waybyou look like your intellect and how talented and kind hearted you are,and whenever you feel like you miss your eating disorder just list all the bad things it caused to happen to you. Remember you are strong and beautiful!
I've been dealing with my ED for a really long time now, it's damaged not only my body but my relationship with my family. It started as something I could control when everything else was falling apart, but now I feel like it's out of control. Almost everything triggers me to relapse. It's exhausting.
I know how exhausting that feeling is, but stay strong and keep fighting. You can beat this, and everything will be worth it once you've recovered. <3
i understand this feeling. i think anorexia is one of the only mental illnesses where recovering can feel worse than being entrenched in the disorder. its so hard to want to get better.
^This. I think the hardest part of recovery is really wanting it. I spent the majority of my time going back and forth between feeling like I was failing at recovery and like I was failing at my eating disorder.
