First moment you realized you may have anorexia?

When I used it as self harm. It was an unhealthy cope.

when i cried for an hour because i ate 200 calories that day. realized that was ✨not normal✨

I didn’t realize I had anorexia until I researched it much later. I don’t know when it started and when it ended but I had a lot of serious unaddressed issues when I was a teenager. I was being physically/emotionally/verbally/sexually abused by a family member and I guess I didn’t know how to cope with that. I would eat what little I could to survive. Now I’m hypoglycemic because of it and I have to eat every 2 hours. My metabolism is all messed up and I’m heavier than what I’m comfortable being right now. I take a lot better care of myself now and I don’t obsess over calories and what I ate anymore. I’m an amazing cook and I enjoy eating :) recovery is possible. I refuse to get back into those obsessive habits. It was stressing me out more than anything.

hehehe ummm I am getting bigger and that's scary... But yeah so I don't eat that much, I don't eat breakfast and sometimes skip lunch, I would eat a little bit a night to make sure mom does not get worried. I replaced breakfast with coffee, and now I am considered a coffee addict? So yeaaaaaaah thats all. I did have trouble finishing a meal without it getting out in a few minutes as a 1 year old and older, I am still less than 13 soo hheheehe

I did go to a doctor and they said I don't really need help. And now I am 160 cm tall but a 35 kilogram.

my grammar and spelling is kinda.. yeah bye!

Ive actually only put 2 and 2 together about a month ago. I dont really have a support system to turn to so no ones brought it up. I ate maybe a meal every other day throughout high school, and after moving out on my own if i didnt go get something id either not eat or get all my calories from candy. I use the excuse that i need to save money, and that eating more would be wasteful. But i cant find the energy to go make more money for things like a healthy lifestyle, and if i dont im just gonna stay in the same place

@Laura

Hey Laura, The first moment I realized I had anorexia (and I still do) was when I was 14 but before I was 14 I had a major weight gain (When I was 11) due to quarantine. I then dieted and worked out crazy and eventually was healthy again. But I didn't want to stop dieting and working out, that feeling of seeing the number go down was so satisfying and it still is. I fear that I am going to lose the body that I worked so hard and eventually this fear led me to become underweight. My health was slowly deteriorating. My parents took me to multiple doctors and I was in denial that I had anorexia at the time. I thought my parents were being over dramatic. Then one day, I passed out in the doctors office during my monthly check up. I went to the doctors monthly because my health was really bad. Being hooked up to the machines made me realize, this is bad. I'm slowly trying to become a healthier version of me by slowly eating 1 meal a day, hoping that one day, I can eat 3 meals and not feel any regret.

@Laura

i know that I'm very late to this post, but who knows, maybe you'll still see this :]

i am a 16 year old boy and I am far from recovered. I'd say that my struggles properly began in March this year (it's late October now). I say 'properly' because I believe that the moment I reached puberty or whatever, I became extremely self-conscious about weight, bodies etc. But I never did anything stupid with that discomfort until this year.

My story doesn't exactly answer your question, because I made a choice. One day, I was just sitting with my thoughts for a bit too long ad decided to start counting calories. Almost as an experiment. Almost as though I was just bored.

Of course it didn't stop there.

At first, it was just numbers. Not numbers I cared about. A fun maths problem at the end of the day. Until it became obsessive. A quest to get that number as low as possible without alerting my family. Except your body does the alerting for you when it starts dropping weight, halting functions, physically trying to stop you from committing this slow, precarious method of suicide. Because for anyone reading this who wasn't clear, every moment that you aren't recovering, you are actively dying.

It didn't take long for me to realise I had a problem. Soon, I was obsessed with the numbers. I could list exact amounts of everything I'd eaten in a day, which no teenager should ever be capable of. I panicked over a discrepancy or uncertainty of miniscule amounts of calories. And when the scale eventually became involved, that rabbit hole admitted me easily. 

The only reason I forced myself into recovery was because I was terrified of my parents finding out. They'd already started asking whether I was unwell, why I'd lost so much weight, how, when. But for reasons too complex to share here, I made the decision to never tell them the truth about what happened. I restored my weight as quickly as possible to get them all to stop asking, worrying, inquiring, but the thoughts don't go away. I want them to, but I've also accepted that since I don't want to and can't get support through my parents, I'll just need to stick it out at least until I'm 18. 

So yeah, there's that. sorry if it's been irrelevent :]