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Disabilities and self-confidence

schokoladenmuffin1 August 25th, 2021

Please let me know how you guys deals with low self-confidence (in case that applies to you) due to your disability/disabilities. I would really appreciate your advice.


Here is my story: Lately, I have been struggling with my self-confidence. I realized how much my negative thoughts and the expections of how I "should" be and how I "should" deal with my disabilities affect me. I always feel like I have to give 150% to keep up with other healthy people, especially at work. I'm almost 25 years old. I have never been in a romantic relationship with anyone. Opening up about my disabilities and thus revealing my vulnerable side just makes me very anxious and sometimes even drives me completely crazy and I keep telling myself that the other person would never accept me aa a disabled person. Any advice how to deal with these kind of thoughts?

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soulsings August 26th, 2021

@schokoladenmuffin1 I am sorry you struggle with feeling good enough to be in a relationship and be acceptable to other people. One thing I have to do is stop listening to the Inner Critic that says "I am not good enough." I can ignore them or counter with "But I am doing the best I can. That is all I can do."

When at work I have never discussed my weaknesses and challenges. If people see it fine, but I can just do the best I can to keep up with other people.

You might find like minded people in the Group Support Chat for Disabilities. If you do not see that group, check out the Sharing Circle.

turquoiseHemlock900 September 24th, 2021

@schokoladenmuffin1

I started watching a lot of disabled creators/artists/athletes/etc. Seeing others be strong and confident and successful really helped me to feel like I could be as well.

Clairebear233 October 7th, 2021

sometimes I struggle with my disability since I have a brain injury and epilepsy. even if I can't drive and party I have accepted those things and now for my self confidence I just tell myself that this is who I am and there are other types of transportation to get to and from places plus partying is overrated in my opinion so I'm glad I can't do that.

777Bre777 October 8th, 2021

For me it's challenging because I have an "invisible" disability so people don't even notice. I try my best just to go on with life. I have a few online friends I talk to but that's about it.

1 reply
LadyNise December 27th, 2023

@777Bre777

mine is invisible too. They don’t understand. 

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unassumingPeach6421 December 11th, 2023

@schokoladenmuffin1

I felt the same way! I still do sometimes. It's hard I think when it's possible to "hide" a disability. People really project unfair expectations on you or you start to project unfair expectations on yourself. I've never felt more like someone took the words out of my mouth. I've never been in an official relationship. I couldn't get past dating, and I never got too close with my best friends or roommates. Honestly, I feel like my family doesn't even know me. I think that some disabilities are so isolating and it doesn't even matter because you're so used to it, like living like this is all you've ever known. What helps me when I'm vulnerable and scared is I say to myself that the truth will come out eventually. The people that take the time to understand you. The one's that will hear you out or don't need you to explain anything and they'll trust you and let things play out, those are the people you want. Those are the people I need to get back in touch with. If you find people who don't care about disabilities, then it won't matter. I wish you the best of luck!

1 reply
LadyNise December 27th, 2023

@unassumingPeach6421 

yes some disabilities can cause people to isolate themselves not by choice. I’ve found myself forced to do this for a couple of years because of my sound sensitivity. They don’t understand it unless they’ve experienced it. I can understand what you mean. But, you continue to be your own advocate and do what’s best for you. At the end of the day, you’re the one who will pay the price for not taking the precautions you need. Having a good support of friends and family is important. 

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LadyNise December 27th, 2023

Hi everyone. I’m seeing that I’m becoming more frustrated and disappointed with every time I try to drive or ride in a car. I have vestibular disability that happened from a medication I was on. I’m off that medication now for 3 and half years. Recovery has been slow. I’m walking again as well as other quality of life things restored or nearly restored. The driving and riding in the car is a huge challenge. I’ve been been trying for 3 months with no progress. Anyone can relate?