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A small vent
brokenbabygirl1988 September 12th, 2018
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I suffer from chronic pain due to a lot of things but I was so amped up with poisitive vibes to start bullet journalling and I had gotten inspired but by the time I looked around for the three new journals my body was killing me. After finding them I said screw it and turned my light off and layed down since everything was electricuting me and my muscles are throbbing just from that little bit. Now I'm sad and disappointed in myself cause I try to push myself even for the easiest things and well.... I cant even do that... This wears and tears on my mental health. I also stopped coming for a while because of my depression. I was finding it hard to be happy. But even if I took a break from here I continued my gratitude log IRL. But as I look back the past two weeks ive done four days oit of seven meaning for three days in a row ive been bed ridden with depression and pain. I'm trying to see that as 4 out of 0 is better than 0 at all but I failed my goal which was to take it a week at a time. This thinking process has to deal with my BPD so im trying to reroute my thinking but I fail hardcore. Sorry for my mini rant but I just need some love and support fr those with chornic pain to tell me its OK not to be so hard on myself abd that im not alone that you too also struggle with the simplest things... Please... 😭

2
AffyAvo September 12th, 2018
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@brokenbabygirl1988 Ugh, yes the little things wear on me. Today I had to get out to the pharmacy and it took me hours this morning just to get dressed. We might be getting snow today and the weather the last few days has been causing me headaches and my energy has just been totally zapped.

I feel like our goals need to be adjusted as our symptoms change. It's hard though when there is stuff that really feels like it should be done and we can't manage. Maybe right now your goal for the gratitude journal needs to be 3 days/week so averaging out to every other day? If you're feeling better or worse next week you can adjust to that. Or if you want it to be a more consistent goal you could say every day I can get out of bed alright I will use my gratitude journal.

brokenbabygirl1988 OP September 14th, 2018
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@AffyAvo that's a great way to think about it. Thank you. It also helps me hearing that you understand completely. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. C:

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