Solution rather then Sympathy based Chat/Support
Sympathetic ears and venting are great but when you are living life with challenges that no amount of emotional validation fixes - the emotional componant is just one piece of what you are dealing with.
It might get all tangled up with your disability, you might have emotional reactions like all humans, you might even have secondary mental health issues connected to disability related trauma
Meanwhile you are still trying to find solutions to make day to day life easier, find resources, cope with inaccessible situations, etc.
Think of this as optional venting followed by workshop/sounding board chat.
The goal is to work together with others that at least half get it to find ways to cope and mitigate the things that we need to deal with.
Whether it's small challenges of daily life or society just making things worse by creating artifical limitations.
How can we help this one person accomplish task X (washing dishes, paying bills, getting to thier art class, going on a date, taking care of groceries, whatever) when they are dealing with disability challenge Y, external situation Z, emotional reactions E.
We can't wave magic wands and fix society to actually be accessible, accomidating, understanding, etc what we can do is help each other with tools, strategies, brainstorming, and perhaps even advocacy.
It's not fair that we have to work harder and it feels like we are always the ones who need to accept half a loaf then settle for a quarter and then be so greatful that we got a few crumbs.
So now that we are done for the moment hating those things how can we support and brainstorm
with the guidedog user that got turned away from an uber- again.
The challenges of unemployment and underemployment in the disability community and the latest hurdle/concern someone is facing
The constant fight of passing or not passing when you have a hideable disability - and the decision stress of one person
How do you stand up for yourself when doing certain things on your own is really challenging and it's hard to feel like a valid adult. Where is the balance.
How do you explain your disability, when do you explain?
How do you have a full and complete life?
How do you get task X done while coping with challenge Y.
@IndigoWhisper Some of the group chat discussions cover this a bit, but I can see where a vent followed by a brainstorming session could work well. Maybe something more open than the guided discussions?
@AffyAvo potentially - this comes in part from my own experiences but also listening to others who are living lives with disabilities. I'll tell you a story a true story, it is *not* my own but it's one that illustrates the problem quite well.
I know of a man who uses a wheel chair but can walk - a little - he always had a disability but could get by and pass when he first moved in 3 years ago - the apartment wasn't ideal for him even then but it was what he could afford. And then his condition got worse an injury or illness that made him weaker and less able to compensate for his existing disability- he could manage his few stairs but not walk very far after that anymore - to go to the park or get groceries or see a friend or take s class or anything - he really needed a wheel chair. Like many city dwellers he didn't own a car and there was nowhere to park it.
Now his biggest issue is not being able to drag his wheelchair up and down the stairs to his apartment where as if he had an elevator he would still be able to go out.
Because his disability isn't "that bad" he doesn't qualify for much assistance to stay in his own home.
He is almost completely housebound and deteriorating NOT because he is incapable of doing things for himself or going places but because he has no way to physically get his wheelchair out of his apartment himself without ending up so exhausted that he no longer has the energy to do anything.
The only time he gets out is when some one is there to help him move his wheelchair - and until he gets alternative housing that is his situation - root issue lack of affordable accessible housing for people who are capable of living on thier own with just a few small accomidations and lack of support that properly considers the housing situation.
So now he has an aid who shows up once a week to take him to appointments but he no longer gets to do anything except go to doctor's appointments and physical therapy where they admonish him for deconditioning and of course he was diagnosed with depression (hmm why would he be depressed could it be his life circomstances?l so now he is on medication for that.
This is not about his emotions being a problem or a biochemical imbalance causeing depression and medication for depression or going to a depression support chat might help in the short term but all we did is label someone with a mental health problem that is rather obviously caused or made much worse by societal neglect.
What he needs is either someone available to help him go places he *wants* to go on a regular basis or housing that is actually the type he needs - but the only housing he can get that is accessible and affordable needs him to be worse off - well if he deconditions and get depressed enough I'm sure he will eventually end up disabled enough - what a hollow victory.
I realized it might be unclear why I told the story above - it was years ago I was talking to someone who had been a state paid caregiver to the man in the story and was just heartbroken about the whole situation. The caregiver had quit some weeks prior over how awful the situation was they wanted to help more but just could find no answers - the story has stuck with me of a situation where maybe if we put enough heads together we could find an actual solution.
I don't even know his name but the sheer wrongness that everyone could see but no one could fix bothers me - we start with more then sympathy maybe we help people find hope and solutions. Or at least we try.
