Member Appreciation Week - Compassion and Acceptance Part A: Comparisons
Welcome to Disability Support's Member Appreciation Week Event!
The Theme for Today is Compassion & Acceptance
I think these 2 things are closely linked - being accepting of ourselves and others in general is a way to show compassion. Also acknowlediing a situation can be a good way to start compassion as it can prevent unrealistic expecations.
There are 2 posts - the other is to focus on the compassion side (see link), this for the acceptance side, but really it's hard to separate them out!
We also have two discussions in disability support room.
At 8 AM EDT : Talking About Progressive Diseases
At 6 PM EDT : Stigma
Comparison is the thief of joy
- Teddy Roosevelt
I think comparison's have their place, but when we compare our situation to another's when the other has a large advantage that we don't even acknowledge, we will often feel disappointed and it can carve away at our self-esteem.
As an example, I had a biopsy with multiple punctures taken, with that, and some of my other health issues it would be really unfair to expect my recovery to look like someone who had the same biopsy but with only 1 puncture and not other health issues that complicated the recovery. Yet one of my doctor's did tell me what to expect from my recovery based on that. I tossed that comparitve expecation out and spoke with another doctor who was more realistic in terms of what I could expect. I accepted my unique situation - it wasn't just 1 biopsy that factored into my recovery period!
These comparisons may be about our bodies - and often do come up with disabilities. It can be about other things as well though - your accomplicshments in school if having to work full time to someone who has had someone else pay their way and so doesn't work during school, your beater to the fancy new car your friend has but they live with their parents and you have 2 young children and a new home.
Has there been a time when you were about to make an unfair comparision but accepted the other factors for yourself?
Is there an area in your life now that you often feel like you don't measure up to someone else because you need to accept your differences and try to stop the unfair comparision?
Tag others you think would be interested!
*All text in green below links to the related threads
Check out the Master- Post for all of Member Appreciation Week!
Check out their post on Self-Acceptance & Compassion!
The other Subcommunities in this theme are:
To Join the Disability Taglist go to the thread here
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@AffyAvo
Has there been a time when you were about to make an unfair comparision but accepted the other factors for yourself? Yes, I was trying to compare myself to a fellow student who was completely healthy
Is there an area in your life now that you often feel like you don't measure up to someone else because you need to accept your differences and try to stop the unfair comparision? College life. I had to leave my dream school to take care of my health. Now I am going somewhere else and a smaller degree. It was such a hard decision to make and I just feel like I'm not like my other peers
@wonderfulRainbow817 I quit grad school because of my health, I found that so hard too! I actually kept extending medical leaves as I wasn't accepting that I couldn't get well enough to manage my health and school for a while.
I hope your new school works well!
@AffyAvo
Can I ask how long it took you to finally accept the fact? Like I have accepted the fact but it still feels raw (it's been like 2 months) because it is like my dream was crushed
@AffyAvo
Has there been a time when you were about to make an unfair comparision but accepted the other factors for yourself?: Yes there was, when I was a small kid. It's personal, so I am not getting into it.
Is there an area in your life now that you often feel like you don't measure up to someone else because you need to accept your differences and try to stop the unfair comparision?: No, not really.
Has there been a time when you were about to make an unfair comparision but accepted the other factors for yourself?
I keep comparing myself to my boyfriend's ex, esspecially when she uses her health to get his attention.
Is there an area in your life now that you often feel like you don't measure up to someone else because you need to accept your differences and try to stop the unfair comparision?
relationships and certain side of the family
Has there been a time when you were about to make an unfair comparision but accepted the other factors for yourself? Yes but I am realising that it is okay for me to be different.
Is there an area in your life now that you often feel like you don't measure up to someone else because you need to accept your differences and try to stop the unfair comparision? My social skills
@TheResilientDancer Accepting ourselves and our differences is a really powerful thing to do. It's tough at times but I'm glad you came to the realisation it's okay to be different!
- Has there been a time when you were about to make an unfair comparision but accepted the other factors for yourself?
Making unfair comparisons and aiming to unrealistic standards is kind of my specialty, but sometimes I manage to get out of this circle, particularly if I have someone supportive backing me up.
- Is there an area in your life now that you often feel like you don't measure up to someone else because you need to accept your differences and try to stop the unfair comparision?
Work, but also social life