Newbie that needs help.
Lifes not going well. Earlier thus year is was perfectly happy. Made one mistake that lead to disaster. Now its almost new years. Iv waisted a whole year to my stupid depression. I hate myself. I told myself that i will never be depressed again.. But it happened again. And i haven't really accepted it fully. I forget things easily. I don't want to kill myself. But life is hard. I devastated that now i think about dieing. I never thought id want to die. Cause im so young and smart. But i hate myself. I had strength a few months back. But im lost. I cant see out of this. I think im giving up. Geez. Im supposed to be strong. Why now?
Please dont tell me things get better. To save you some time... Iv lost all hope,strength,believe in anything.
@Greenapple1
I hear you...
I can totally relate.
What things seem to help a little when your stressed out? For me it is getting outside, deep breathing or a hot bath. Do you have a favorite destresser that could ease up this tough time for you?
@OrangeYouGlad68
Nice name.
But i don't know really. Cause i always find a problem with everything. If i take a bath ill think"you could be doing sonething better. You shouldn't be doing this".. Like how do i not be hard on myself??
I really am losy with these things.
@Greenapple1
Yeah, I have a hard time with self care too. It wasn't even a thing until I came to understand it better by coming to 7cups. The deep breathing has made the most difference for me when I use it.
Have you tried connecting with a listener yet?
@Greenapple1 I know what that is like
@Greenapple1
HEY YOU STOP THERE! If the nickname wasn't different from mine, I would swear I wrothe this posts. SWEAR.
Short story: I am depressed, I get out of it, "I promise I'll never let this happen again", I relapse after 7 years, wasn't I supposed to be strong? Totally conviced I looked for it and that I HAVE to die, I try to forgive myself, but just the idea makes me nauseated, guilty, ashamed and even more willing to die, and every little thing I try to do, a virtual "Voice" in my head laughs out loud and reminds me that I am filth and I should die. Because I was weak and I gave up. Totally overwhealming wall of shame, I can't break through it.
But there was hope: it felt unbreakable, and it was, as long as I kept looking in the wrong place. There were things that I wasn't ready to acknowledge, that I had blocked out and therefore couldn't be solved and that prevented me to find the only way out: right through them. Wait. Think about it and wait, maybe there's someting you can't see yet, because all this pain HAS a damn valid reason, trust me. And anyone feeling what you felt and what you feel would be stuck, and hopeless
@GhostlyLilian
Different people. Same feelings huh?
You said all this pain has a vaild reason. Explain please.
@Greenapple1
I don't mean "God has a plan for you" and stuff, I don't even believe in God and when people come out like that, it makes me kind of angry. I mean you feel hurt for a reason, and that reason is something REAL hurt you really bad, it's not your fault, you're not wrong for feeling it. You're supposed to, anyone in your situation would be supposed to, and your pain is real, and that's why it affects your reality. At some point, a truck run over you, and right now, you're still lying on the road, with all bones broken and bleeding from... how many years? And you're oddly freaking out about not deserving a doctor because you can't stand and walk away from the road. That's the situation, if you prefer seeing it like that. I am SURE your pain is real, and that you have all the right to feel depressed, or to have depression, or to feel desperate and hopeless
@GhostlyLilian
I truly understand now. I guess you can put feelings on paper. Or you've been through alot to know. But my situations is 100% like that.
Have any ideas what i should do? Or should i just wait till every thing gets cleared up?
@Greenapple1
wait and help time.
I mean: thing won't magically get fixed by theirselves. Try to understand why you feel lie that, get preofessional help if you can, but most important, all th "excuses" that you make to yourself, like "i'm not lazy, I'm depressed", "I feel like that because that horrible thing happened to me"... "i got run over by a truck"... they're probably not excuses. work on those, ask yourself hou you think those things would make another person feel, what would another person need in that situation (sometimes it's easier to think to others taht to ourselves) and ask yourself if at that moment, you had what you needed to get over your feelings in the best way possible. Detect all open wounds and try healing them. Find out where you broke and how to fix it piece by piece
@GhostlyLilian
Iv been trying to do that. Just dont have the motivation too. But your words gave me some spark. So ill try again. But thanks for stoping by and helping.
Hopfully the "healing processes" doesn't take long.
@Greenapple1
Sorry I don't have more helpful advice right now. But as I told you, I could see "dead end" painted in huge red letters on that wall, I would never expect anything good to come out of it, instead... you never know. Keep trying. As I said when I was more of a fighting type: when you can't take it anymore, you'll have a stroke, don't worry. Untli then, you know that you still have some fuel in you to keep trying. We'll get out of this
@GhostlyLilian
Nice qoute. Ill keep that in mind! I hope everything goes well for you, with what ever your going thtough.
are a listener? Your pretty good at this therapy stuff!
Oh and thanks!
@Greenapple1
I'm not a listener, I signed up today and before signing up I reached out a few times to listeners, and I was thinking about becoming one. We can keep in contact or you can PM me if you wish
@GhostlyLilian
Sure we can keep in touch. Ill just Pm you. But when ever your ready , you should become a listener. I think youll be good at it.
@Greenapple1
Hey, guess what. I'm Lilian. I noticed there were no PMs on 7cups, I started exploring the listener thing, I thought I could be both a listener and a member with... maybe 2 different prophiles, sinche volunteering as listener is also suggested in the growth path. Instead, before I even noticed, I had created a permanent istener prophile and I don't know what happened to my former member prophile. I'm officially a listener. Not that I wouldn't like it, but I just wish 7 cups gave a bit more informations before creating a listener prophile. For example: there is a test to pass, but you take the test AFTER creating the listener prophile. It makes little sense to me. Also I was said that I would have complete control over when I would be available for listening. After the test, I find myself a request for filling up a time schedule about what days and how long I will be available to listen. That's not complete control! I think those ifos and much more should be provided BEFORE giving the opportunity for a member to click the button "become a listener". It's way easier to beome a listener than to find the infos you would like to know about how it works -.-" Anyway, seems like you can chat with me now ^^
@AmberGlowFalls
Wow. I noticed that too! And kept looking for it. But thanks for the info.
They should have gave more info about the listener profiles and stuff. Casue thats very confusing. But what can we do?.. Lol.
Maybe we can later today or somthing?. Hope your doing well!
@Greenapple1
I just found another thing. Im a teen. And it says i cant pm you cause your not a "teen mentor". Your an "adult mentor".
Im trying to change my profile to "adult" but i can't find it .(boo hoo)
@Greenapple1
Oh, I had forgotten about this! I don't know how to change it, or if I can be both teen and adult listener. I'll find out O.O
@AmberGlowFalls
And if all fails. I can make a new account or we can talk here. But appreciate you trying!
@Greenapple1
I didn't find a way to comunicate with minors, and I think that's the point: maybe to avoid legal consequences of any kind, minors here deal with each others and are separate from adults. Wo knows XD there still are so many things I have to learn here, about how the whole thing works. My listener experience is going pretty good for now though
@Greenapple1
I found out how to be a listeer for teens also. but I will be able to do it further along in my listener path. I have to complete at least 75 chats, if I remember corectly, and be a verified listener and pass a test, a real test with a real person, both to be a verified listener and to become an adult-teen listener. I'm looking forward to do it, but without rushing it out
Hey guys! Im Izzie. Currently Im a member, but Im thinking about becoming a listener.
Hi izzie 
Welcome and good luck for your journeys here 
I suggest you to take your time to get to know the site and how it works before trying. There's a lot of things to learn to be a proper listener, and you'll be available for people who ask support long before knowing all that you should, and what tools you can use, how to use them and so on. Take it very seriously, because it will require a big emotional effort, dealing with people in very difficult situations, sometimes putting aside what you think and what you consider to be right to try and understand the other person's perspective, and offer support, keep an open communication and not judging, even though he/she did or thinks something that you absolutely disagree with. It's not easy at all, believe me, you'll always have more to learn and ways you can always improve yourself, as a listener and as a person, and I think it's amazing, but it's also a big responsibility and it won't be all roses and flowers, just like having a chat with a friend or posting something in a thread. I'ts so different. So be prepared, and good luck!
@AmberGlowFalls
Thank you, I