my parents are angry about my depression
hi, Moss here, i need a little advice about my family.
my dad just recently got remarried and seems to have expected a better house and life meant a decade of mental health struggles would just disappear, when I wasn’t even offered treatment until last year with little to no effect.
my dad is furious with me. I’m not happy, even on the highest dose of my meds. I still have depressive episodes and panic attacks regularly. I’ve been sleeping all day just trying to avoid feeling.
my dad was angry at first because I never talked to him about anything, but when I finally opened up and showed him most of what I’ve been dealing with, it seems like he doesn’t want to be my dad anymore.
instead of being kind or trying to help, he’s angry because I don’t have a “zest for life” and he refuses to get me a therapist.
I really don’t know what to do
@IWishIWasAMossyRock
hi moss
the turtle here
Thank you for posting here I admire you very much
I have a few things to share with you
i was at uni in the early 90s when I was first depressed. I remember my dad drove to uni to have dinner with me and he told me he was so sad that I was unhappy and he wished he could cheer me up. Duh dad I don’t need to be cheered up I need my brain rewired and my insides fixed and I need some peace in my head. Of course I did not say anything. We never talked of mental health or happiness or anything when I was a kid so my parents had no language for it. Even to this day. They just glaze over at the mere discussion of mental health.
now I have a son at uni. We divorced ten years ago and he is still processing it. Still. In. Therapy. I’m happy that he is sticking with it. So you stick with it! Heck, taking care of your mental health may be a life long thing as it is for me.
Keep posting, keep working on your mental health, accept where you are and keep posting. I think you are very brave.
Kindly,
the turtle
Sometimes parents don't give you the support and love you are expecting from them. It's because they don't understand mental health issues. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My heart goes to you. I hope you find a way out.
Well, you definitely deserve better support than what you are getting right now. I am so sorry that you are struggling.
One thing that you could try is putting together a list of articles for your dad to read about depression. It sounds like he has no idea how depression works in terms of brain chemicals. He also is rather clueless on how therapy can help. Just medication probably won't solve the issue.
Keep the articles shorter, easy to understand and give him like just one or two a week. Then he can realize that it isn't just you and that you are doing your best.
Let us know how things go. @IWishIWasAMossyRock
i did this not too long ago. It just made him angry
Well that is frustrating. I am so sorry. Do you have someone that you can talk with at school or elsewhere? @IWishIWasAMossyRock
i’ve graduated and am waiting on some college stuffs. i do have a friend but they are kind of weird about the whole “mental health” thing
College will be a great opportunity to find some real help and resources. They usually have great clinics on campus. Now that you are older you will start to be able to make your own decisions. @IWishIWasAMossyRock
@IWishIWasAMossyRock
Hello Moss, I saw your post just now. I am very sorry to know that you are denied from the help and support you should get and you expect from your family. It's really bad of your dad to not understand you and it may be because he doesn't understand about mental health or just can't take that his child is suffering from depression. It's not good to be angry or furious because opened up to him. Opening up to someone about your personal matters, especially when it's mental health, it's really really hard and there's stigma about mental health. People most of the time think that those who have mental health problems are nothing but crazy and deny to understand them. I know you are feeling that you are really at a dark place and you are having very hard time dealing with all this, panic attacks and depressive episodes. They are really like hell itself.
But I would like to tell you that there are many people, in 7cups and in real life, even if they are hard to find in real life, but here, are many supportive, understanding and caring people who care about you and are willing to understand and help you. We are all here for you. We will be here for you. In this hard times, we really need support and give support too, and you deserve it. I hope you find help and a good therapist for your depression and don't forget you can always come and talk here too, there are many nice people here too! 💙😊
Take care and stay safe 💙
As a former child that suffers with depression and now a parent that has a child that suffers from depression and anxiety. I can see it from both sides. You need to seek treatment even without his help. My parents wouldn’t pay for a therapist either… they thought I was just “dramatic.”
this does not mean he doesn’t care. frustration can get the best of a person. I know I get super angry when I am frustrated and you always take it out on the ones you love the most. I am not saying it’s appropriate but it does typically happen. Try your best to communicate your needs to your father. Maybe a school counselor could try to explain it to him. Sometimes a third party is needed… do you have someone in your family that understands and could talk to him for you??
