Started therapy/counseling- not feeling the best about it?
content/trigger warning: therapy, m3ntal h0spital mentions, s-lf h-rm/su!c!de mentions (not actions)
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Hi, I'm a teen who recently reached out to my parents about my mental health issues.
I had my first counseling session today. My counseler is really nice, and he's really helpful- I'm just not good at talking about my issues. I feel guilty whenever I reach out about stuff because I feel like a burden. I feel like people will treat me differently, and that's not what I want.
I know that talking about my issues will help lead me towards recovery, but there's so many things I'm worried about when I talk about issues. I feel like I'm a burden to my parents, and I know that when I was answering my counseler's questionaire, I didn't answer all of the questions with "yes" when I should've answered more with "yes." I'm set at a moderate risk for certain issues, and if I'd answered another question with "yes," he would've told my parents to send me to the hospital. He's already told them that they can (and should) have me keep my door open when I seem to be upset to make sure nothing bad's happening.
Nobody in my family (or at least my close family) goes to therapy or counselling. I'm the only one (to my knowledge) who has these sorts of issues. I don't want the rest of my family to know because it'll just stress me out, but they'll find out eventually. It just makes me feel even more stressed out and down than before.
To be honest, I just want help. I just want to feel better, and I know reaching out will help me. But it makes me feel awful most of the time, especially since I have to actually talk about my issues instead of sending them in a message.
In general- I just feel trapped in a loop. Actually talking about my issues with a counseler will help in the future, I'm aware of that- but I just feel so nervous when talking about stuff, and then I feel like a burden after I talk about things. It just feels hopeless in a way.
@panickedclikkie Finding a counsellor who is really nice and really helpful is a great first step, I think.
When you mention answering questions with "yes" it makes me think a lot of that first session was yes/no questions, like some kind of formal assessment process, maybe. When you get beyond that initial assessment in subsequent sessions I'd hope it will get much easier for you and you'll not feel so nervous.
I hope you've found listeners here at 7 Cups who you can chat to without feeling nervous. If you'd ever like to chat to me, feel free to message me.
Charlie
@panickedclikkie
I commend you on your strength and bravery. Reaching out for help takes courage. When I saw a counselor years ago for social anxiety, I was so nervous and it was hard to open up. The therapist said most people are nervous. There are too many people who suffer in silence with their struggles. Your choice to reach out means that you don't have to be one of them anymore. If it helps, learning some DBT skills help me when I'm feeling overwhelmed emotionally. I discovered this site called NowMattersNow that's really helpful. In particular, TIPP skills (temperature (cold water or an ice pack), intense exercise, paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation) have helped me.