Empathy: To Be or Not To Be
This is just me venting from having a bad day.
I am like a pain sponge.
I can't bare to see someone hurting. I have empathy for just about everyone and sometimes I hate it. If I see someone hurting I can't just stand by and watch I have to do something. So not only do I carry own pain around i also carry what feels like everyone else's pain too. And it's so heavy but no matter how hard I try to stop being so empathetic stop caring so much I can never do it, I have to care all the time. I am that person who never cries and never gets sad, but im always there. I'm there if you need a shoulder to cry on or a hug or you just need me to listen, I'm always there. But sometimes I wonder, where's my shoulder to cry on? Is that the price you pay for being empathetic? And if so could I return it if I wanted to? Because I didn't sign up for this. Sometimes being empathetic just hurts, especially when all you do if help others with their pain then carry it on your shoulders.
So yeah thanks for listening, sorry If I kinda wasted your time.
@WavesofKei
Empathy is an item many either have too much of or too little... it is not something i think you can turn off .... but those without can try to build some.
i think you ask very valid questions of where is your support and empathy for you as well .... the best i think you can do is pick some to help and save a bit for yourself.
You didn't waste anyone's time. You actually made me feel better. I feel this way constantly.
I am in a situation now where I hurt someone very inadvertently I think. They couldn't deal with me caring so much. But knowing that I caused someone pain is torture for me. @WavesofKei
@bestVase7265 I understand that. I'm at a point where it seems like I feel people's pain without them showing any signs of being hurt. I feel horrible even if they're hurt indirectly, so sometimes I write little notes or poems with kind sayings, then put them in books at the library or on a shelf where someone would see them, doing so always makes me feel as if I've accomplished helping someone.
I sometimes try to send my students anonymous pictures that I have colored. But I will admit that I am in too much of a crisis at the moment myself to do much of anything.
My situation worsened today with a student accusing me (for a second time) of causing her so much anxiety that she needed to get out of my class and go to another one. So now the idea of me being evil rather than empathetic is spreading through campus. But I didn't do anything to cause her reaction. So I am very upset.
Sorry. I didn't mean to vent on your post. @WavesofKei
@bestVase7265 I don't mind your venting, your alright.
As for your student, I don't know what you could've done to get this reaction, but maybe she's having an unpleasant homelife. If that's the case then it may be easier for her to redirect her stress on someone else, such as you. I wouldn't take what your student to heart.
True, I am working on it.
But now I have forced you back into being empathetic in a thread where you were begging for rest. How are you today?@WavesofKei
That is the funky thing about empathy. Sometimes it helps to give it and sometimes it becomes overwhelming. Figuring out the balance between the two is the challenging part. @WavesofKei
@bestVase7265
You have actually helped me come to terms with the fact that I may never learn quite how to balance the two properly, however that doesn't mean that my life has to revolve around the fact. Ups and downs happen in life, and I have to remember that the downs will turn into ups in due time.
By the way thank you for speaking with me, you've helped me more then you know, I can only hope I've done the same for you.
You most definitely have helped me. Come by here any time that you end up in one of those downs slumps and we can cheer one another up. @WavesofKei
@WavesofKei 😢 I know peoples kindness and empathy sometimes go unnoticed or so it seems. But never believe that, when you help others no matter how big or small, you are changing the world to a better place, one good deed at a time ❤❤
whenever that weight gets to much, then let it all out. Vent, scream, cry. We are all here for you ❤ and we care, I care ❤thankyou for being you, gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Oh, thank you Lola! *Returns giant little hug* You're just so sweet, thanks for the positivity. 😊
@WavesofKei are you sure you cant learn to control your empathy? Learn to choose where to direct it and to whom? Have you tried meditation? Thats otherwise a good way to learn exactly these things, to control your mind and to direct your focus and empathy. To shut out unnessesary things and prioritize who should get your empathy, focus and care. No one has enough time and ability to care for everybody, so one has to learn to prioritize it. But then who has the most right to your empathy and care? I think those who are closest to you. And that is your family and closest friends, and everyone you have to interact with in your job, while you are at work. Having much empathy is a good thing, most wise people tell us caring for others is where most of our happiness stems from. You just need to learn to focus on those who matter to you and ignore everybody else. Ignoring everybody else doesnt make you a bad person, you cant help your empathy and time is limited, you have to prioritize your family. You probably still wish their best.
@WavesofKei ok i admit i didnt read the whole post untill now. And unfortunately i have no answer to this. Life is tough for sure! I feel with you! But you seem like a strong person! Someone who can find a way to handle this!
