What Should I Do?
Conversations are hard to hold or join, activities and work are hard to do, hobbies lose interest over time. Sometimes I have to think of gruesome things like s/c, m****er and s/h of other people or myself just to feel better and clam, and I need to plat a deep song on loop so I can do a few things. Unless it's something I really need to do then I can't get up, especially when it's something I personally want to do. Everything is just confusing.
Hey @Bell604, I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so bad recently. Depresson can really make us feel like we're walking through thick mud, pulling us back and making life so much harder to enjoy and get involved in. It sounds like it's getting to be quite overwhelming for you, which concerns me, especially the thoughts you've been having. The next step may be to speak with your doctor about getting treatment. There's no shame in speaking with a professional and asking for help. Sometimes you can manage depression, but sometimes it can take over and we need a little extra support, so I definitely recommend doing that, if you feel comfortable.
I hope things improve for you soon, whether that's with help or not. Please take care. ♥
@SilentSerenityy
Thank you for reading g and replying. I appreciate.
I sadly cannot meet with any doctor or professional till 5+ years later. My parents and associates are unable to help me relieve stress, and I must prevent myself to speak to them on the problem or they would make it worse. I have been using online venting to cope for the past few years when school was closed and I had stop communicating with my counselor, but I feel my dependence on online venting has caused my perspective to shift and affect my thought process.
@Bell604
Why can't you see a professional for another 5 years? I'm sorry that your parents and others are unsupportive and you feel that they would make things worse for you. In what way could they make it worse?
Seeking help online is perfectly okay to do, even more so if it's beneficial. There are paid therapists available here that may be useful too. I wonder why exactly you feel that online help has affected your perspective?
