Worked Though Depression; Now Back in Therapy
Hello everyone. As a member of the depression support group and as a person who has dealt with major depressive disorder and been clinically depressed, I thought it might be interesting to start an AMA. I've never created one before here so I guess now is the time to open up.
I was a victim of emotional abuse and toxic family relationships, and I was in therapy for about 4-5 years. I've been on depression medication and worked through my depression in therapy. It's been about 5 years since I've been in therapy, and I just started going to a new therapist to talk about new issues and old depressive feelings.
You can ask me anything about what I mentioned above, or just anything (within reason) you'd like to ask not relating to the above topic! AMA!
Sounds like you've battled a lot in your life. I admire how brave you are for sharing this and reaching out for help. How are you currently feeling about seeing this new therapist and how have you been coping with your depression thus far?
Thanks so much for your kind words. I looked into a lot of therapists before I chose my current one, and part of the reason that I chose her was because she had a holistic approach. It's still pretty early on in our relationship, but I feel like she identified some things about me that were accurate pretty early on. I like that she challenges me in my thoughts and about the way that I think
As far as coping, I'm in a completely different place than I was the first time I sought help. So this time around it is really about indentifying and challenging the thoughts and beliefs I have about myself, rather than working to get me out of that bad depressed place. In some ways it is easier and in some ways it is much harder, because I have been living with these beliefs for so long. I feel like know I get depressed in certain situations or when I have certain thoughts, rather than being in that consuming void place. So it is easier to remove myself from the situations or ignore them when they come up this time.
Hey I was just interested to see how things are going now,and you mentioned about having holistic approach therapists. Could you share how that worked a little more - if you feel comfortable that is?
I know this is an old thread and there's a chance no one is no longer looking at it, but I've been struggling to find the answers I'm looking for and I was hoping you could help.
After struggling with feeling down and depressed for a number of years I found a new low a few months ago when I was broken up with. Since then I've been working to try to beat depression but last night my progress came into question when I admitted that during the day I had had thoughts of self harm and suicide, but at no time has the thoughts been serious enough for me to consider doing anything.
I was wondering what experience you have, if any, of those kind of feelings while working towards getting better and if there's a chance I'm fairly close despite occasionally having those kind of thoughts.
TW: self-harm
Hi, @limeMelon5342! I'm not a professional, just a fellow member, but self-harm thoughts and suicide ideation in general are important signs from the brain that something is really wrong. No living being wants to die, we are all wired to survive as long as we can, so it's really important to adress those urges, even if you may not act upon them. I'm really proud of you that you decided to reach out for help to this community, lovely, because it always takes courage to be honest about your own state.
From my own experience I know that any kind of self-harm thoughts are an indication that your brain is looking for an outlet to express its pain. It looks for solution to break out from the misery and numbness in which it's locked on the daily basis. I'd be good to ask yourself in what situations they occur. For example, I've had suicide thoughts in the morning, and I think it happened because it was really tough for me to simply get up from the bed and get through the long day. When you recognize their context it gives you back a sense of control and makes it a bit easier to cope with them. It's painful, but please try to talk about them, educate yourself on the subject - I can send you some links if you'd like - write your thoughts down, even if it's hard, because it's vital to express. It's all about finding various outlets to externalize your suffering. Remember that they are temporary, they will definitely pass, but you have to keep on fighting with your disorder.
Your current struggle doesn't erase all of the progress you've made through all the passed years. Recovery isn't a straightforward path - it is long and tedious process, taking long months and years to happen, with a lot of setbacks along the way. Even if you struggle right now, it doesn't diminish your strength and persistence to not give up on yourself over and over again. It's enough to take the best care of yourself. It's enough to simply be, lovely.
And you're doing well, reaching out for assistance, because this a disorder which tries to make you believe you're not worthy of any assistance, which is completely not true. You deserve better than fighting with your own brain every minute of the day. And you can definitely recover.
I recommend this community guide, if you haven't read it. It has some practical tips. I'm also here for you if you want to talk.
Sending you all of my strength, lovely!