I need a good cry

@depressedCupcake99 I need one too today. When I was younger my mom ( who was in my life at the time ) use to tell me crying was weakness. Showing emotions period was weakness. So I have this issue of keeping all of my emotions bottled in until I snap. I once was going through so much pain that I picked up a random glass pice while cleaning a shelf and threw the glass piece and every piece that didnt break until the floor was covered in glass. From my front room all the way to my bedroom which was a pretty far distance away from each other. I cleaned up the mess before any one knew what happened. I dont why Im telling you this story but one thing that I do want you to know is that Its ok to cry. You dont need a book or a movie. All you need is to just let it out whenever you feel like you need to. But, dont let your emotions build up so much tell someone or write in a journal when you need to express how you feel. You feel what you feel and its 100 % reasonable. I hope this helps you or someone else on the forum.

@depressedCupcake99 Movies with sad endings can sometimes help, or books, or even songs. Talking to a listener might be good too, to help you figure out what causes you to feel this way. You'd have to find whatever works for you the best. And when you do, and you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here for you with the rest of the 7Cups family. 💖

Then you have reached a level I could never reach...I hoped with time I will stop crying but much too many years have passed and I cannot...I envy you for this level of detachment and insensitivity...

@reservedComputer8349

I have no idea what your backstory is, how much you have dealt with, or what your secret pain is. But I can tell you that while not being able to cry seems enviable in certain situations, it really is not. It is torture. Your body is forcing itself to stop a natural relief from happening. After so many times of suppressing tears your body begins to recognize that as normal. You will feel like you need to cry but you can't. It hurts. A lot. It is considered weak if you are constantly crying I suppose, but, dont envy us for not being able to cry. You dont know the pain it took to get here and how hard it is to turn around.

I struggle with attempting to cry as well. My mom said similar things. "Don't cry. Stop crying. I can't understand you when you are crying" When what she should have said was "Go ahead and cry. I might cry with you, but you cry until you can talk. Then we will talk and cry more if we need it."

As a result I need to be completely alone when I need to cry. I have to be somewhere that I know I won't be interrupted or heard or seen.

The only people that have seen me cry is my husband and my therapist. And I won't cry in front of my husband. I feel guilty every time I do. Like it's manipulation or something. My therapist is different. I need to be real in therapy or it won't work. He sees the crying but its the me still trying to hold it together crying so I can pay attention to what he is trying to tell me.

There's some rolling hills behind my house with some trees. I go out there and do the ugly crying. The really, really bad crying. I start journaling and I get to the point that the emotions are welling up. And because no one is around I feel like it's ok to hurt. It's ok to cry. No one can to see. I'm real in my journaling. Rambling spelling errors. Crossing things out. Incomplete thoughts. All of it. there are so many tears in my journal.

I don't know if you have access to a place that you could be alone and uninterrupted, but those are my suggestions. And if you can't cry remember it's ok too. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

It

@AbbyHarris1976 Same is going with me at workplace most of the time when I listen Prateek Kuhad's song I just got thrown in deep depression 😕

@amantariyal

Hey! Welcome to 7 Cups!

I listen to quite a bit of "mood music" too ... last week, I was feeling very fatigued from my work schedule and had a difficult time catching up on rest, and I was listening to "Holding back the years" from Simply Red. I like that song because it applies to my struggles with trying to find and make friends while being middle-aged as well as coping with a visual disability (my eyesight is a hot mess because of being born very premature ... I can see but not well enough to drive) and the challenges that come with that. It's also got a blues/soul vibe to it