15 Years of Severe Depression and A Listener, AMA!

How did you take the news that you were partially adopted, and what exactly does that mean?

Growing up I had my mom and my dad, at age 9 they revealed to me that my dad was not my biological father but my mom was. I use the term partially adopted as he took me in and i received his last name when my mom and him married.

I took the news really hard as all my life I had always felt like an outcast in my family and my social circles. I had always felt different. And by learning that I began feeling really uncomfortable with my family and I became more withdrawn. I still loved my dad though, but that was when our issues really started. I was obsessed with learning more about my biological father as my mother told me he wasn't a good person and she would let me meet him when I was older and more mature. However, that day never seemed to come and I didnt like asking my mom about him as she seemed hurt just talking about him. So I reached out to him via Facebook and sure enough, he was an awful person. Finally knowing that help close a part of my life and my relationship with my dad got better and I felt a lot better too, after I dealt with the disappointment of course.

Thanks for asking : )

Dear @xoflyy, thank you for sharing your story. It's sooooinspiring. I've seen how generous and helpfulyou are in the chatrooms--you're amazing!!

Oh, wow!! Thank you @Annie! You're inspiring and amazing, I can't believe you commented on my story! Thank you for your words <3

I believe that your experiences can now only help you assist others. That is a blessing.

Thank you. <3

How did people react to you coming out of the closet? I know that can be an arduous process

I didnt come out to everyone all at once. In fact I'm fairly certain my mom knows, actually I know she knows but we've never had a conversation about it. But my friends were crazy supportive about it. I cried and was so scared but they were amazing, and then over the years it got easier to admit and talk about. It's just who I am. I think i probably had a good "coming out" experience, luckily! But it was scary at first, especially being from such a small town where people judge.

You said you're a Listener. Do you have any counseling / paracounseling training already or is the Listener training on its own adequate? :)

I dont have any professional training, no. The listener training was very valuable but I was always the supportive and listening type in a friendship. I've always assumed this role with people in my life, I enjoy helping others and by doing so it helps me. Since joining 7 cups I've realized my real love for helping people and I'm considering a career in a helping role, but only I've only just started thinking of it. We'll see where that takes me. : )

Cool! Thanks for the reply. :)

@xoflyy, you are blessed with a wonderful heart and that?s what makes you a better person than those who have made your life miserable as you were growing up. You are a wonderful addition to the growing number of our awesome listeners. Hugs for you sweet lady.

Ooooh @pm229 thats so kind of you! Gosh, thanks darling! Youre so sweet, *hugs*

@xoflyy *stands on chair* *salutes* i respect you for who you are and what you have become *cuddles*

Hehe vas. @yannick is rubbing off on you! Lol : ) thank you sweetheart. Your words mean a lot.

This made me laugh fly!

Hello xoflyy(I love your name),

I'm sorry you've had to deal with depression too. It's truly a most terrible thing to have to live with. For that I commend you. ^_^ I have one question I'd like to ask: How are you doing these days?

It makes me happy to know that 7CUPS has helped you. It has helped me tremendously too. Thank you for making this AMA. It's plenty brave of you.

Take care and be well! :)

@LatteJoy Thank you for the kind words! They're so touching! These day I am actually doing a lot better. About two or three weeks ago I was in another pretty nasty low and one day I woke up and I felt really good! And I've felt good since! I've had moments where I didn't feel good and felt low again but they didn't last like they usually do. I've even had some bad things happen since I've been feeling good and I've managed to process it and move on, which is a wonderful feeling!! I'm not sure why i woke up feeling good but I'm glad I did really. It's so easy to forget how happy feels. Also, I'm so sorry you struggle with depression too. It's a terrible illness. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Keep on fighting! There's always a way out! Take care

Hi,

I was just wondering what you were like as a kid. Were you were very shy ? And did anyone from your family know you were being bullied in school?

thanks.

HI there! Thanks for your interest! Firstly I started out as a very active social child but the bullying changed me into a shy self doubting child and then adolescent and then adult. It changed me forever and deep down. At first i told my parents and all the teachers to try and make it stop but telling didn't help. It made it worse actually so I stopped telling and withdrew into my shell and turned to food to help deal with my feelings. Bullying is a terrible thing.

hey

i wanted to ask, how do you go day to day and keep going on after 4 years? i'm only 13.

It's all about taking it one step at a time. Wake up, get out of bed, eat breakfast, have a shower, etc. It's all about not looking too far into the future and just making sure you make it each minute. One foot in front of the other. Until you feel the fogginess of the depression lifting just a little bit and you can feel a bit better about looking into your future. Also, using distractions is greatly beneficial. I buried myself in books when I was younger. That was my escape, it's important to find your escape as well.

can i ask i just joined up as a listener and was wondering what is the best way to come out to your family as being bi sexual the only person that knows i am is my husband