i don't know if i can keep going
i sometimes feel like I don't deserve to keep trying, I'm constantly causing problems for myself, making everything hard, I don't know
I feel so lonely sometimes, because my family has never taken me seriously so I've decided (about a year ago) to stop trying to tell them altogether. no more being honest with them with how I'm doing. they literally do not care. my parents in particular. I'm the oldest of five and my siblings are either too young or too weirded out by the oldest kid struggling, so I have three or four friends that I talk to, but one of them always turns it to be about them, one doesn't respond super often (I don't see him all the time so it's mostly over text so I try not to bother him with that stuff cause the time we have is precious) and another friend who's also struggling a lot.
life is just so much. I'm so terrified.
I tried to end it, and still haven't told anyone in my life. i feel like I'm getting a lot better but I'm still so scared and done with this and maybe i can't trust myself to be alone
I can't say that enough
I'm so done I'm so tired I'm so over this
can someone please just give me advice and encouragement like all those other posts on here that get like 36 responses of people trying to help
i just need reasons to stay and to keep fighting and promises that suicidal thoughts can eventually go away from someone who's overcome them
please
@linvi
It gets better with time I promise you. I used to fantasize about k1ll1ng myself to the point where I had plans on how to do it and was consistently cutting myself. It gets better. You can try taking supplements and over time they might help, you can try vitamin b and d and after a while you can notice an improvement. If you’re old enough low doses of cbd oil can also help. I’m currently on low dose of Zoloft, if you try an antidepressant start at a low dose so that side effects are minimum. It gets better I promise you. There will always be someone who will miss you if you did it, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Promise me you won’t do it. Please. It’s something you would never be able to take back.
@linvi it sounds like you have been struggling for a while and I can’t imagine the depth of loneliness you must feel without having someone to share these thoughts with. I am hoping you are safe. It sounds like you might really benefit from a professional through a crisis intervention line. We are not trained in crisis intervention and so to offer this help would be dangerous to you and illegal for listeners here. We can no longer support suicidal Ideation or self-harm on this site. You are welcomed to discuss your feelings of depression and Isolation. You can talk about past experiences as long as they aren’t too detailed and could impact others.
@coolvibes https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
if you think you need help with suicidal thoughts or self- harm you can make contact here. Reaching out to talk to someone can be very anxiety provoking. I am glad you said you were feeling better. Good for though, suicide it a permanent decision to temporary problems. I know it can feel like forever to experience change, but change can happen. Connecting to peers on cups in chatrooms or to listeners can begin this journey. Sometimes getting support from family isn’t possible, because they can stay objective about the situation. There are many avenues to find a person with an understanding ear though. Keep advocating for yourself. Sending best regards.