Reclusive due to PTSD
I'm tired of being excruciatingly depressed, overwhelmed, and lonely. Everything has become difficult. It takes me days to work up the energy to shower, weeks to leave the house only a few blocks. I can't handle leaving outside of my town and forget any place that's crowded. I was forced to go to a small town WM during a not super busy TOD but it was 25 mins from my house. I made it 2 mins b4 I wanted to leave, 5 mins b4 I ended up curled in a ball, crying, wanting to go home. This isn't living.......it's far worse than being dead......
Healing is a slow process.
Take baby steps and appreciate your little efforts..
You are trying. Be kind to yourself.
Sending you lots of love.
@FearfulMoon402
Hi! I can relate.
Our ineffectiveness in the world due to depression makes us even more depressed.
It's a vicious circle.
But there is a way out eventually.
You mention having PTSD
How long ago was the traumatic event?
Please come here often...
All the best!
Marcelo.
I've had many traumatic events. The most recent was a couple months ago but I'm also still in the throws of 1 that's been ongoing(my child's father is a narcissist and has been keeping my child from me while bashing me throughout my very painfully small town). I miss my child. I haven't been able to deal with all the other trauma I've been thru bcuz my focus is solely on my child.
@FearfulMoon402
Oh! how painful!
Being depressed is a natural way of your mind for protecting yourself from so much pain.
Like anesthesia, that reduces the pain in surgery or after being severely wounded, but keeps you in a zombie state, numbs you and you might not even feel your body, nor even walk.
I agree with you that the priority is getting again in contact with your child, by getting custody or mandatory visits as a minimum.
Do you have a lawyer to help you with this? Many courts on family issues, and organizations such as those that deal with domestic violence, provide lawyers for free in these cases.
I send you all my appreciation and wish you that things get much better soon.
@fearfulmoon402
I’m feeling and in a very similar position to you at the moment
It wasn’t until covid restrictions ended and I was required to work and socialise again that my CPTSD came back very intense
My boyfriend suggested for me to make more friends and stop becoming so “socially withdrawn”
I know it’s meant to be good, but I just don’t have the energy or want for it, but not it’s a lot of pressure on him so I guess that’s what brought me here
Happy to chat or listen to you if you need xx
