I am losing faith in women supporting each other.
Feel free to change my mind in the comments, because I know this is going to be a biased take, but I will make one thing clear: I do not hate my gender. I'm mainly ranting about how women online talk about supporting and uplifting each other because I have never been in a female space (both online and in-person) where I felt like I was part of a truly supportive "gal group".
This is mainly with online spaces since I play a ton of Overwatch 2 but I have lost faith in women supporting and uplifting each other because it is something I see practiced more than preached online. And I know I'm going to get comments from people telling me to be the change I want to see in the world but I am struggling with trust issues and just a lessening hope for humanity more and more. I fear socializing, and I hate social events. I cannot have a conversation with women outside of my social circle about my hobbies and interests because I know they will just judge me and make fun of me. The whole gamer girl spaces/communities thing just feels so fake because when I join these spaces they're either dead/mostly inactive or they're highly toxic and full of bullies and pick-me girls. The fact that I am a woman of color who isn't considered the beauty standard and possibly neurodivergent doesn't help my case, since girls seem to mainly support pretty girls, particularly those of the beauty standard (despite the common take I see on social media of girls disliking when other girls are prettier than them; I somehow always see the opposite).
@PopPunkPrincess17
I do not think I can change you mind
but......... in my experience the woman who helped and supported me the most were the ones I would have not thought at first sight.... a person whom i assumed was not friendship material for me
when we talk of judging do we consider our stereotypes? We can assume they will not get us because of our hobbies or interests.... I also feel pretty people are often not as self conscience as average looking folks in speaking up and saying breaking the ice ..... I have always found to NOT make any ideas of who someone is.... by looks. Yet many do everyday....
i have known great and caring people that were very good looking............ and many who were not..... it REALLY is what is inside of people.......... and often we cannot get to that in a one time meeting...it takes investment of time to reach that. I feel many think one and done .... we meet someone at a gathering and if it does not click during the first meeting we might think Pass.... an opportunity is lost at that point.
@toughTiger6481 I can get behind this take and I have met the best people in the most unexpected places but as I have gotten older I have felt more and more isolated from the social world, especially offline. I waste a lot of time in Overwatch chat rooms with strangers and half the time I don't say a word out of fear of being mocked/verbally abused. I go on apps like Lemon8 and try to find a community there but everything is empty and no one cares about building a community as much as they say they do. Half the people who say this are conventionally attractive and have a huge online presence and well-established connections-- I have none of those. I feel like I peaked in high school and didn't even know it.
@PopPunkPrincess17 There are indeed few women in the games you play and in the circles you are in, so everyone may have some differences. But I know very well that no matter what gender, the proportion of good people and bad people in the world is the same. Where there is sunshine, there will be shadows. We can think of it this way, maybe we are unlucky, otherwise why do we always encounter the shadow part? By the way, although I don’t play Overwatch, I play PUBG, Apex, etc. Maybe we can have common topics.
@helpfulhuman778 I loved playing PUBG on the phone back in high school, and I would play more Apex but it demands a lot of storage, similar to MIHOYO games (Genshin, Honkai Star Rail, etc). I also like playing "cozy games" from time to time, I play some Farmville 3 sometimes. I used to play a lot of Animal Crossing. I am open to playing anything but I'm drawn to MMORPGS, hero shooters, single-player adventure/action games, and simulation games. I mainly avoid games like Rainbow Six Siege and Valorant due to the rampant bullying, toxicity, and pick-me behavior. Pick-me girls are the main reason why I am afraid to talk to other women who play video games because I am worried I will get called a slur or degraded simply because of my race.
@PopPunkPrincess17 I think I am the same, I really like to play building simulation or shooting games! But I only play games on my phone, because my computer operation is very bad... and first of all, I don’t think people will know where you are from when you play games unless you tell them yourself. Secondly, it is inevitable to be racially discriminated, not just because of race, some people will even make things difficult for you just because you look good. So it is normal to be looked at or attacked by others with strange eyes, and people will encounter it in their lives. But the important thing is your mentality. If you hide just because they look down on you, then you will never win. In addition, if you are still interested in mobile games, we can play together!
To the people curious about my gaming habits, I play on my iPad and PC, occasionally on my Switch Lite. I like games like Animal Crossing, Saints Row, Overwatch 2, Half-Life 2, Cyberpunk 2077, Sally Face, and Skyrim. I like hero shooters, simulation, open-world, MMORPG, indie, and single-player games. I am open to playing almost anything but I'm on a limited budget right now so I will unfortunately have to sit out the Steam Summer Sale until I get more cash. Because of my mental health, I try to stay off social media as much as possible, especially the purple chat app. I have developed group chat and friend group anxiety and cannot function in a social group unless I am sure that I am on good terms with everyone in the group. I have had to deal with people who didn't like me for whatever reason and made an effort to turn me against several group members and isolate me from social spaces I thought I was accepted in, so my trust and patience are wearing very thin.
