Has Anybody Tried Seeing a Therapist? Is it good?
Hey guys..
I'm planning to see a therapist. Yeah, i guess if i had a better choice i would rather not. I can use the money for other important things. But for now i really need to get some profesional moral support. Any support is actually better than none. But looking at how bad my life is in my 30s, i feel helpless and i don't have anybody who i can depend on.
Hope you guys can share your experiences. Thanks in advance and merry christmas..
I ask myself this question as well, I am in my mid twenties alone now like you, trying to peice back my life, sometimes I think I am doing ok or convince myself I am, I can do it on my own, but I know I'm not getting it right and need to get some help with understanding some things, but I'm to shit scared to ask, reveal how I am feeling and the stuff in my head I get to nervous at the thought of telling someone so they can cast judgement to get the wrong image of me, it's to hard to do that, at some point hopefully I will get past this and get some help. You are already at this point, I am happy for you that you can put yourself first and let people help you, you are braver than me, I hope it works out well and your get to be happier. 2017 is looking good fir you.@Kate30
Hey guys, sorry for the late reply.
Hey there. It's ok i understand exactly how you feel. It took my a while to make the decision and actually going for the real thing. It's kind of like "looking for a job" too. It's not that easy because i have tried a few counselling sessions before at other places but it lacked commitment.I guess because it was either free or with a very small payment.
Well i guess i'm not handling a short term phase kind of difficulty. It's the kind of thing that i've kept with myself for a very long time (loneliness & work incompetence for example). I never had the courage to talk about it with any one before either. But my life didn't get any better. If it did get better i wouldn't be bothered to do all this LOL.
But now that i'm "old" just getting older like it or not i need to take some responsibilty towards myself cause i just can't handle it on my own. Plus the fact that other obstacles just keep coming my way. There is just so much i can handle.
@Kate30 plus I allways say to show u the road, u have to walked the road first, everyone life is different and don't run on a normal counseling script
Kate- I've been present during Many discussions about Therapists, in the Chat Rooms. Finding a good Therapist (particularly one you connect well with) seems to be a very hit or miss proposition. Some ppl have gotten great support and insight. Others have had FAR from ideal experience. Based on what you said... I'd certainly try it. But don't be shy about finding a different Therapist, if your visit doesn't go well. Your not obligated to schedule a follow up visit
@ChromeLotus
Thanks a lot for your advice. I actually just went for my first session today. It went pretty smooth. I cried a couple of days before going cause it was so overwhelming. A lot of things are for me now. It was not too expensive that was the first reason why i chose it.
But something "freaked me out" I thought i did enough of research searching for a certified counseling/therapist centre. But i didn't. I talked a lot about my illness and how i still have not recovered fully etc. It was only an hour.
When i came back home tried to search and see wether it was a licenced/registered centre. I wasn't listed. Honestly speaking i was stressed out looking for a good counselor/therapist that was near my home/affortdable, it was tiring too. Looking at the their website it looked like a real one not those cheesy types you know.
@Kate30
Hey Kate. Good to hear your first Therapist session went rather well. Now you've got a idea of what it's all about. Next time it shouldn't be overwhelming, and it'll be easier to open up
Personally, I wouldn't be too concerned they weren't Licensed. The most important part is that you connect with the Therapist, and feel comfortable. A more expensive Therapist is no guarantee of superior service
Was good to hear back from you. Take Care ☺
@Kate30 Hi there. I am glad that you were able to find the courage to try therapy! It can definitely be a huge decision and people are worried about so many things regarding whether or not the therapist will be good or qualified or mean or helpful or any number of things. It can also be super hard to take the plunge and reach out to ask for help because we are admitting that we do not know everything and we honestly need some support! That is a big deal because I think many people feel like they "should" be able to solve their own problems, or that their problems really are not "big enough" to seek therapy. I think that therapy is for everyone, becuase what many therapists do is help us become great self reflectors and understand thoughts and emotions better and where they come from. When we can do that out of practice on our own, well we can definitely move through situations with the knowledge of what we actually want and how we actually feel. In my opinion, those kinds of skills help everyone. Anyway, I am sorry that you found out that there seemed to be an issue with the credentialing of your counseling center. While every state has different licensing laws, I wanted to let you know that in many cases, it is the fact that your therapist is licensed that is important. Licenseing for center is complicated and is done for different reasons. For example, in my state, a center offering a day program for metnally disabled people needs a license. A center of outpatient therapists in private practice does not need a license. However, all of the therapists that are in the outpatient private practice do need a license. You can look up any individual therapists credentials through their governing board website in your state whether that therapist be an LCSW, LPC, PsyD, LMHC, Psychologist, etc. You can also just ask your therapist if he or she can provide you with proof of licensure - many therapists will have it posted in their waiting room or office anyway. In my opinion, a good therapist will not be offended by you asking - it shows you are advocating for yourself. Good luck finding someone that works!
@AndreaMendezLCSW
Hey there 
. Thanks for sharing all of that info. It's really helpful . But that was a lot to read LOL.
Anyway, finally i was able to make some calls to find out about my counselor/therapist. Not to worry she is registered and also just renewed her licence. I'm glad. What a relief 
.
My plan is to continue maybe for a couple sessions more. In the mean time i'm still searching for a more affordable one so to speak. I guess if i am financially stable i wouldn't have any trouble just sticking with her but that is not the case for me.
Anywho i'm just still wondering why she has not given me any respond whether to make a follow up appointment or anything like that. After my first session that was it from her. I find that rather strange because in my previous experience the counselor encouraged me to come again and made a following appointment for me.
@Kate30
I am glad that you found the information helpful and also that you were able to clarify that your therapist is licensed/qualified. Sometimes going the extra step can really help you ease your mind. There could be all sorts of reasons that a therapist might not have reached out to you including being busy, not having your correct phone number, having reached out to once, but not getting a response, going through something personal that is taking up extra time, having numerous clients in crisis, etc. I think that while it makes sense to want the extra care and attention of a thearpist seeking you out to make your next appointment, being proactive can really be helpful. After all, it is your therapy and you are the one that is going to benefit. As for finances, that is always a hard thing becuase we all have a limited amount of money from which to purchase the things that we want and need. Something that some of my clients find helpful is to consider slashing some other bills. Perhaps you were already thinking of paying less for cable, internet, your phone, car insurance, etc. There is usually a better deal out there that could possibly make room for therapy in your budget. There is also the option of asking your thearpist for a deal. I am not sure if you are using medical insurance or not, but for example, if a therapist asks for a $100/session fee out of pocket and your insurance is covering and you have a copay, etc., it takes the therapist a lot of time and effort to collect the fee that the insurance company is willing to pay. Also, the fee that the insurance company is willing to pay plus a co-pay from you is almost always not going to add up the full $100 session fee. Many therapists are willing to make a deal with clients for that reason. For example, many therapists will end up with about $50-$65 per session total by acceping medical insurance. Somewhere in that range is usually a fair amount to try to bargain with.
@AndreaMendezLCSW
Hey Andrea. Thanks again for sharing all this information. I have asked my therapist about her not giving me a follow up call or encourage me to make another appointment. She said that is the way the centre works. They wait for their clients to make the following appointment. I don't know, i feel kind of "unimportant" with this kind of approach. But i made another appointment that will be tomorrow.
I'm actually not from America, so i guess we don't have those sort of alternatives when it comes to the financial aspect of things. And i don't have insurance. But it's ok. I guess i need more to so i can get another counselor that i can rely on. But for now i will continue with her.
Thanks again!
@Kate30
Can you request a standing appointment with the counselor? When I begin working with someone, I ask at the first appointment if that day/time works to see me each week or every two weeks. If it does, great. If it doesn't, then we decide which day/time will work. If we still can't agree, then I leave it up to the person to call me for an appointment with the understanding that I might not be available.
Also, and this is for anyone participating or planning to participate in counseling, if what you're doing in counseling isn't working for you, tell the counselor. If the counselor can't meet your needs, ask for a referral to someone who can.
Sounds like you want to it, so I think you should. But as mentioned above, trust yourself - not every therapist is a good fit, and you are the world's leading expert on how you feel. It took me too long to figure out that it really is OK to quit a therapist and try someone else!
When looking for one, it helps to know how they work. It should not be a mystery to you what you are doing in therapy and why. Therapists will generally be able to tell you up front what they like to do, what theoretical orientation they have, etc. and checking that out even before a first appointment (you can ask these sorts of questions by phone) can save a lot of time and expense.
I hope you seek the help you sense you need and wish you the best of luck connecting with someone helpful!
This is helpful to know, I didn't know you can ask the questions to therapy people, but I don't know what to ask cos I don't no what to expect, it's a minefield of the unkown that throws doubt in every way, I can research this and learn more, thanks.i know you didn't reply this to me, but I found it useful.thanks.@JBlue
Hey there. Yes, thanks for sharing. I too didn't know i can ask such questions.Ok i would just like to share more about the therapist i went to. She is more of a family therapist & counselor. Here is the difference between Therapist & Counselor
Therapist
Protected title in some states such as California, requiring licensure to operate
Can include various kinds of Psychologists, Licensed Social Workers, Counselors and Marriage and Family Therapists.
Use behavioral approach to therapy
Different degrees offer routes to the protected title of therapist including but not limited to: Master in Psychology,
Master in Marriage and Family Therapy, Master of Social Work, Master in Counseling or a Doctorate in any of those fields.
In some states where this term is not legally protected this can include life coaches and others who may not have the same kind of licensure and degree requirements.
Counselor
Often used as an umbrella term for both licensed clinicians with advanced degrees and those offering other forms of counseling.
Counselors work with the patient to determine the best way for the counseling sessions to provide preferred outcomes.
Counselors do not require the same degree of advanced training or licensure to operate.
Counselors have access to a much broader field of potential models for counseling.
Counselors lack the in-depth understanding provided by clinical research found in therapy and Psychology
Therapists all have different approaches, and it's important to find one you get on well with right from the start, as @ChromeLotus and @JBlue have already said. I agree that finding the right therapist is usually a hit and miss business, although a personal recommendation can sometimes be a useful shortcut.
Is it good? Yes, with the right therapist you'll know it's good within the first five minutes of the first session. After that it gets hard, but hard in a good way, if that makes sense.
Some of your other posts in these forums tell of your persistent feelings of loneliness and inner pain, and I just want to add that an experienced therapist can go far beyond moral support and help you completely transform these kinds of feelings. The insightful and expressive way you write about your feelings gives me great hope that therapy will be a success for you.
Of course, people who have experienced successful therapy don't tend to spend their time in forums like these, so it's unlikely you'll get many replies telling you just how well it can work.
I wish you well with your plans. If you have other questions about therapy, reply here and I'll do my best to answer them (although I don't log in here all that often).
@Kate30
@Kate30
Yes, it can help enormously, but it's important to find the right therapist. Be clear on what you want to accomplish as well as what issues you are facing during the initial meeting.
@Tomboyktm
Thanks a lot you guys for sharing your advice and knowledge.
After going for my first session, now i really need to make sure if this centre is licenced. If yes, i might only be able to go for a couple of times because i have financial constraint.
In the long run i might just need to find a good counseling service close to my home that is the only way for me to save money. Other than that i don't think i have a better choice.
Hey guys...i'm kind of nervous going for my 2nd appointment tomorrow. I just get tearful thinking about what i'm going to share with her and i don't have anybody else to share this with.
I thought of telling my mom that i'm going its quite far from home but she doesn't understand why i need to go counseling and have to pay for it when i did a few years ago.I would be driving alone. I felt so nervous driving alone that far for the first time in years. I use to do this without a care in world.
These couple of days i felt really lonely. It just feels worst because i wasn't able to go out. I even cry sometimes because i feel SO ALONE.
When i'm able to go out and do stuff i always feel better. I forget about the pain that loneliness brings.
@Kate30
And i miss my ex-friend so bad. I use to be able to share so much with her. She was my most loyal companion. I know ishouldn't get carried away with my negative emotions but it gets too overwhelming sometimes.
@Kate30 i know how you feel to be missing a friend. therapy can help with feeling like theres no one to talk to. it really can. how often are your appointments? having them regularly gives you a sense of security. mine are currntly once a month but for a long time i was having multiple appointments weekly. try to have them weekly or once every two weeks (if you can afford it of course). it means that you really get used to your therapist and its easier to open up to them. therapy takes time and its not at all easy. sometimes it might feel like youre getting no where and you might have been better off keeping things to yourself. but youve got to stick with it and stay strong. if you dont click with your therapist, try a new one. you can talk about anything in therapy, big or small. good luck
