i failed again
i felt so ready to meet a therapist for the first time after years but then i started panicking and now im right back to square one. im such a disappointment to myself i cant believe i ruined everything again. i really thought that i was finally ready and genuinely happy about it but look at me now. foolish me for overstimating myself. ill never get out of this loop
@WittyCar0607
hugs. It's not a failure. Maybe there is something perfect in the way things are happening now. Maybe you need to make 4 or 12 or 19 therapy appointments be for you go to one. The one you go to is the right one, and the time you go is the right time. Maybe this past one can be rescheduled right now. Maybe you have a buddy who would make it easier to go next time. Every step is progress even if it doesn't look like it right now.
@WittyCar0607
@WittyCar0607
@WittyCar0607
I think it was brave for you to begin thinking about getting help. It is not easy to reach out and ask for support but you know that you want to get help and have considered it. I think that is a wonderful step . Keep your head up :)
If ever something like this happens, I want you to know something - it doesn't invalidate the amount you've grown in any way. It does not mean you are back to square one.
The growing you've done... it's not like racking up points in a video game, only to lose them when you lose to an enemy. The growing you've done, the things you've learned-- they're there, and you haven't lost them. You feel you have hit a hurdle-- but that doesn't mean you have gone backwards in your growing. This is a new opportunity for growth.
Others here have said that this may have happened in the way it needed to. It may very well have. But please, friend; do be kind to yourself. I'm not saying don't hold yourself accountable, but it's a hard, hard thing to go through this life being *too* hard on yourself. Let yourself breathe-- let yourself be able to grow in this.
Your therapist, when you do meet them, is there to help you. They understand these things. And they'll more than likely be willing to talk about it.
I think you're very brave, and very strong.
@WittyCar0607 It takes so much courage to acknowledge you want to reach out for help when you need it! Even if things didn’t go as planned the first time - you still had the courage and insight to take this step. This is not the end, it is the beginning. And you are brave to share this struggle with us 💙 sending support and wishing you the best 💙