friend faking depression?

Hey there, I'm really sorry you're feeling this way--it's so tough to feel like you're drowning from severe mental illness and then to have someone else sort of wear it like a mask they can take on and off. I had a similar situation happen to me with a coworker who knows that I've been in treatment/out of work/really struggling with some mental and physical illnesses who then made a post on social media saying something to the extent of "I live with xyz etc etc" and everyone commented saying how amazing and inspiring she is and I found myself thinking "you're fine!!! you KNOW how badly I'm struggling and you aren't even nice to me about it and now you post this?" I found myself feeling a little silly too for being so bothered by it, but I try to remind myself that:

• it doesn't erase or delegitimize my own situation in any way

• something (even if it doesn't seem to me to be "as severe") is clearly going on if she needs to do this for attention

• mental illness and mental health issues exist in varying degrees so she MAY have whatever she's claiming to just to a much lesser extent than me

• similar to the previous point it's great that mental health issues are becoming less stigmatized to talk about and awareness is being raised BUT it comes with the caveat that it now seems like people are supportive and impressed by "functional" or "light" mental illness but still misunderstanding and dismissive and stigmatizing of debilitating/"messy" mental illness which can be very frustrating and unfair

My questions for you:

1) Would you feel comfortable talking with this person to let them know how their actions are coming across to you? Do you think that might bring you any resolution?

2) Are you currently seeing anyone for treatment for your depression and self-harm?

I'm sorry this situation is so distressing for you--I hope you take care, and know that your struggles are valid and you deserve to be seen and supported.

@rozw8

People are there for the story, if they dont know your story, they wont care, and the people who give attention because of the story its nothing more than pity and you deserve more than smiple pity. naturally you will find people who do care about you, and those are the ones you really need, they are pretty hard to find, but they defo are out there

maybe you could get the support you need if you reach out to people. i used to feel like that, like nobody noticed how hard it was for me to hold my life together, but some people have been really nice after i started reaching out about what i was going through. It might seem like your friend is wearing a mask but maybe she just has a different problem than what she realizes -- she might think it's depression but it could be something totally different. Also, mental illness manifests itself differently for different people. Attention-seeking can be so annoying to perceive but what the person may be doing is reaching out for help and understanding. I don't say that to invalidate how you feel, but it's just like -- you deserve support as well and you can reach out and have that support and love as well. If they can't give that to you, I agree with WickedSick, you will find people who will align with you. I struggle a lot with this myself. And if you self-harm I truly believe you should reach out for some sort of professional therapy. I understand the feeling of wanting to transfer the pain into something manageable but it's so so bad for you and you deserve more than that from yourself/life and to not feel like you need to do that anymore.