You can talk to me ♡

@Enolakh

Can i start by asking you those questions?

Hello eno, thanks for asking. I’m not feeling great right now, but I hope you are. My depression makes me feel empty and lifeless, like I have a black hole somewhere inside of me.

It’s affecting my life in that I have no motivation and no energy right now. I’m trying to cope by writing poetry!

I want to change my mindset, but the idea seems out of my reach. Have a good day/ night

@Enolakh

1. I'm feeling pretty good, thanks for your question - on an overall trajectory upwards, even though some days can feel rotten.

2. I'm finding my energy levels to be lower than I'd like them to be.

3. I'm looking into my day and being mindful of which activities I feel drain my energy, and which give me energy, and trying to schedule activities that give me more, like social events, or cooking, etc. With respect to the activities that are a net negative for energy levels, I'm trying to limit them where possible, and for those that are necessary like certain chores or schoolwork etc, I'm being more mindful and forgiving of my thoughts/feelings toward them, and then trying to make them more interesting by playing music, calling a friend, listening to a podcast, or seeing how fast I can finish it and giving myself some sort of reward after it's done, basically turning it into a game.

4. I'm looking to change many things, but not focusing on them all at once. Two goals I'm working on now are structuring my day to waste less time, and scheduling more social events to avoid feeling isolated.

Thanks for this post - I actually enjoyed answering these questions. Thoughtfully writing it out has helped me think it through and concretize certain strategies.

1. Currently I'm not too bad. It's one of the better days.

2. Some days it's dibilitating. I lie awake all night, sometimes in floods of tears. I get to work and spend the first half an hour curled up in the office on the floor. Other days it's like there's never been anything wrong. It's tough trying to get a balance. A lot of my problems are situational and things can only move so fast. Unfortunately things have taken almost 2 years to get this far and there's still so much more to overcome.

3. I try to remain positive whenever I can but that's not always as easy to do accomplish. I've been surrounding myself around supportive people, but I become a drain on their mental and physical resources. I am trying to slow down too. I rush everything just to get it done not in a bad way but in a burnout way. I've taken to model painting for that and that has really helped, but it's not a cheap hobby so it has its limits.

4. I just need a place for my daughter and I to live, a chance for routine and structure. Somewhere we can both express ourselves and not be under people's feet. But the support is so poor.

Thank you for listening

@Enolakh

Hi thanks for reaching out w this post 💛 tw:sh

1 I am feeling not well. Lower than I have felt in a long time.

2 there are so many things going on physically and I'm isolated and haven't had human touch in months, feels like I can't anchor myself in reality and my friends are all too busy to visit. One friend tries to talk to me but they often only try to fix things in my life instead of understand and they live out of state and planned to come and visit but then cancelled twice now within two weeks My abandonment fears are really runn.ing full force and flooding me often

3how I'm dealing is resorting to not so great coping skills I started sh again since stopping over ten years ago. Things have been too much. Talking w my therapist but it's virtual so also doesn't feel like she's really there and just a robot. It's like I'm the only person alive, alone in my room, and everyone else is a robot.

4. Things I want to be different is to have people in real life that care. I know it's hard to visit people (me) when I need accomodations but I don't feel like I'm worth it, as shown by people leaving when medical issues became worse. I'm also working on going to all my appointments and trying to figure things out it's exhausting and this week I have5 appointments, last week four and it's usually 4 a week if not more. So I'm trying but it's a slow process and sometimes I don't see the point if I'm just alone all the time