Why are you struggling with depression how did it start

I don't know, tbqh. Like, I thought it began when my grandpa died, because that was incredibly hard and we were really close (he practically raised me). But when I think back on it, I was already struggling a lot before he even died... which at the time I thought was just like teen angst. So I honestly don't know what began this. I just am this way, I guess.

I am struggling with depression because there are too many external factors causing me stress. All of these factors are causing me immense stress and I much rather end my life that deal with anything getting worse

I have had depression for about a year now. I'm 13 and it started early last school year when I was 12. I'm going to be honest most of it was caused by my mom and the fact that she makes me feel terrible but the other part is a mix of conflicting emotions I can't sort out. It gets easier and harder from time to time but recently it's gotten the worst when I got in a huge fight with both my parents where I finally told them I was suicidal and cutting and they just laughed like I was lying. But then my friend sent me some stuff from this app and so I got it and decided to at least try to get better though I'm not sure this will last long.

It started with me being bullied in middle school my pants being pulled down and me getting punched in the face avoiding all thoughts of me being gay until i realzied it how horrible i thought it was and it just made me a manic i tried to avoid all parts of and it and how as a 13 year old i really didn`t have a social life besides the hours i spent playing videogames. I Kept failing my grades i felt like i could amount to nothing.

I don't honestly know when. Ever since I was a little kiddo I have always been the emotionally unstable one, my situation soon grew worse among the years even at the age of 8 I started dreading life and began to think about suicide, but I passed that incident off as just me being a confused 8 year old, I later grew to the thought that it was just my normal moody self. After a while of somewhat maturing I noticed how much I started to lack in social interaction, smiles, emotions and how I became more lazy... Actually noticing how bad I was getting made it worse, I started having more self-doubt, I became more self-conscious, trying my best to piece myself back together while all I was doing was confusing and tearing myself apart.

Now I'm left with an empty broken shell of a girl that hurts herself to feel the emotions a normal person should receive without struggle.

Stay strong loves! Don't give up fighting, even if I, myself am still trying.

I started feeling depressed around 6 years ago, when I was 16, but it never felt serious, so I ignored it. Then when I moved away to study at university at the age of 18, I grew really depressed. I felt inadequate and would always compare myself to my classmates; I would feel like an outsider, and extremely untalented. I would return home to cry myself to sleep. It would come and go every now and then, sometimes I would feel really confident in myself, other times I would feel as low as I possibly could. I'd contemplate suicide and tell myself it's the best solution. Years went on, and I lost all interest in what I was doing at university. I graduated and after spending a year out of university not putting my degree to any use at all, and reminding myself about the massive amount of debt in student loans I've acquired, made me feel like a massive disappointment and now I seriously regret every decision I've ever made. The only things I ever thought I was good at I now look at with remorse and regret ever wanting to do. I feel like I've wasted all of my valuable time as an adolescent, and now no one will ever be able to take me seriously. It feels too late, and it feels like there is only one way out.

I don't remember how it started, but it was under control until a few years ago when everything started going downhill. My inner demons (whom I have managed to silence) have successfully convinced me that I don't deserve anything that was for my pure pleasure and they convinced me that I don't deserve to be loved and that I shouldn't trust or love myself.

Whenever I would start to do something for myself that mean voice my head would say 'what's the point? You're not any good' and I would have no way to reply and just drop it. It was when I had my first suicidal thought that a small, almost buried, part of me said you have to stop this. That's how I came across this app, and I've hesitated multiple times before signing up because I'm still in denial. I don't need to be here, I don't need help and that voice is telling me I don't deserve it either.

I don't even think this qualifies as depression, maybe I'm a little blue and have been for the past few years.... I have a nice family and great friends and I'm thankful for that, I shouldn't have anything to complain about or be sad about and I'm thankful for that. I just need that voice to stop. I need to love myself and get over this. This is terribly long and confusing, I'm sorry.

When I was 13, a boy called me a fat cow every day past 6th grade which made me starve myself and the depression just came with it. One day I woke up and felt like happiness wasn't a realistic thing to me anymore.

my mom died and i cannot deal with my new family

Depression runs in my family so I'm predisposed to a gene, my doctor also thinks I'm bipolar so that as well. But I was also sexually abused as a child so that definitely brings a lot of depression.