Why am I not good at anything?
I feel like I have no talents or skills.. everything I try I either fail or am below par at. And it feels like everyone around me succeeds at everything. I'd like to be good at one thing just one, and better than someone at one fucking thing. It takes all the enjoyment out of my hobbies because I don't feel I'm good enough. Video games: nope I suck I'm not as good as my fiance at them so I compare myself and then just start loosing interest.. I keep playing them anyways but never get better. Drawing, writing poetry, etc.. I'm just not good at and these are things I wish I could be so I just have given up years of practicing. It seems like others around me everything comes so naturally to them and me I just suck at everything.. what's the fucking point of doing anything if I'm not good at it.
Oh boy, i hear you!!! A big part of my lack at finding the one skill im great at is my multiple forms of dyslexia. I can put the blame on my brain but it doesnt help much. I have no magic answer on this, just dont stop trying new things. My list of jobs (from 1 day to 3yrs) is very long. I sew ok, in my opinion, but i do it for fun. My confidence is low until the project is complete and im happy with it. For example: If customer service is too hard, find something that is back of house. Just keep trying new things! ☮️
Yeah I hear you for sure and I'm sorry you struggle with that. I was never diagnosed but am convinced I have mild dyslexia because of my symptoms of mixing letters when I write. My problem is that if I'm not perfect at the task I don't want to do it, I've tried things for years and seems I don't improve.. weather it's lack of skill or my own kindest setting me back I'm not sure. But I will try thank you for your input I really do appreciate you
I hear the depression and i’ve struggled with it for most of my life. You Fiancé sees many great things in you, hold onto that. Have you considered getting what i call the LD evaluation? It wont only tell you where you struggle, but it will tell you where your strengths are. Ask your therapist for a referral to a psychologist who can do them. They take all do, so be ready. ☮️
The problem begins with comparing yourself to others. No matter how good you ever get, there will be someone better and you will never be satisfied. Try to find something you enjoy, or at least what challenges you and engages you. Try to make it fun and stick with it everyday until it becomes a habit and before long, you'll find yourself improving naturally over time. There are a few shortcuts - such as getting help from others, advice and feedback, and putting yourself out there tends to make you more conscious about self-improvement. That's just a few ideas but trying lots of things is a good start until you find what you love to do, then stick with it as much as you can. For a lot of things, the learning curve at the beginning is quite high which makes it a lot less fun while you're starting out, but eventually whatever you choose will become second-nature and you won't even have to think about most of the effort going on behind the scenes. The only person you need to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday. Celebrate every single little success as much as you can, and think of every failure as a step for improvement and necessary on the road to being good at anything in life.
I appreciate your comment very much and that you took the time. I was in an art academy In middle school and thought I would become better at drawing, practice for years I am an adult now and still think I am horrible so I gave up. Poetry I started at 16 and now I barley write. Everything I try I end up giving up because if I'm not good I don't enjoy it and it doesn't become second nature to me unfortunately I obsess over the fact that I am not good enough and will never be. Even if I stick with it for years, and try my best... I know there will always be others better than me it just sucks that there not one thing I'm better at than those around me. I'm not good looking, I'm not intelligent, I'm not funny, I'm not talented so what am I doing waisting space, breathing air that someone else more useful than me could be taking?
Firstly I'll tell you a little secret. Most artists think their own work sucks. That can't be helped. It's why the ones who stick with it are always improving rapidly and are very critical of their own work. I'd suggest finding a good artist to give you tips and inspiration and I know a few good channels on YouTube which does that amazingly, and undoubtedly there's countless more. Secondly, you are unique. No one else is like you in the whole world. You're the only one who will ever be that good at being you. If you weren't here, all of us and everyone in your life who cares about you would be missing out on that. If you feel like you're in crisis, please seek professional help. Hurting yourself or worse isn't the solution and you aren't alone. We won't judge you here. Don't give up on art, if you truly love it. It allows you to express yourself and create beauty in the world and so many people will appreciate it for years to come. Just give yourself the time and patience, and a chance. Wishing all the best for you.
Yeah I know I just wish I could like something I create or do, nothing turns out the way I see it in my mind. And I understand I'm the best at being me however being me isn't really that great... I just take up space, and consume oxygen and other vital necessities somebody more useful needs. What's the point of I'm not brining something useful to the table ya know? I don't like feeling this way and it makes my fiance feel bad for being good at thing which is the opposite of what I want to do he should be proud of himself... I'm in therapy I just can't accept that I am a successful, productive member of society of I don't have any special qualities
You've just got keep practicing as much as you can. Try to come up with goals or a list of some kind of things you'd like to improve at or learn or try. Rather than saying if you can't do it perfectly don't try at all, try to be objective about your improvements and celebrate your successes. You're far too harsh on yourself. There are ways you can be productive and contribute to society and I'm sure you even are already without realising it. Support the people around you. Really listen to their feedback and advice and what they're saying to you. Join some activity groups or do some volunteer work. Try not to say that you're a waste of space so often. It's counterintuitive to being productive and a really negative mindset. Start thinking of ways that you can be the kind of person you dream of, find role models and ask yourself what would they do. Implement healthy habits to replace some of the bad ones you're currently following every now and then. It's a slow and gradual process and you'll need patience but you're worth it. I understand the self-hate, I really do. I'm not saying that it's easy. You only get one life and I'm throwing way too much at you at once - but you can just think about with an open mind maybe there's 1 thing you can do right now that might help even a little. Try to do that everyday and ask yourself that question every day. Seek support from your loved ones where you can. If you can, try to repeat positivity as much as you can for yourself out loud and in your head, and really listen when you hear it from others and let it sink in. If you keep repeating that negative stuff you're only buying into your own self-made narrative and you could be so much more. You deserve a break.
