What if I don't wish to talk?
Sounds like a ironic thing to say especially here. Maybe I actually do but honestly I don't feel like anything anyone can say will make me feel any better plus I am afraid on opening up to anyone because they often give up on me when they realize I wont get out of this quicksand call depression I live in.
They don't realize them leaving my life fuels the self hatred I have for myself which in turn makes more people repelled by me.
I feel like a cancer in this world, a monster yet I don't feel I have done anything in my life truly wrong except for looking for love because I have never gotten it from anyone in my life and it is killing me inside.
Read the loneliness guide here and only found lesson 1 to be somewhat helpful, maybe about has helpful as throw a cup of water into a bonfire.
All the people who are or were in my life say love wont solve the problem, they don't seem to realize that I know that already. Its only that I know it will help, and at this point the only health option I haven't taken. I have been alone all of my life; little to no friends, never had a girlfriend at the age of 30 etc etc.
They all say love is not the answer yet guess who they come to when they are alone and out of a relationship? Fell like i am a master of loneliness and my only role in life is help others with it but never my own. Be the support they need till they find someone in their life. Me on the other hand i feel like I am not allowed. Sorry Corey you are not allowed to be in love or have love returned back to you, your job is to handle loneliness, you do it so well.
Don't wish to talk to anyone because I wont listen, I just want an answer, results, an end to this pain. Someone who could take the love I give them and share me theirs without running like I am a monster/cancer/burden.
At this point actions speak louder than words and I much prefer someone I loved and cared about would just not run from me,hug me and help me fight this battle. However at this point I have none of that. All I can do is say this among strangers whom don't know me and I don't know them. I know you all feel similar to me and are in pain in ways I can't comprehend and make me feel like whimp for hating myself for being so lonely but it is what it is. Now I got to try and get some sleep, the self hatred in my head wont go away anyway any time soon and i don't expect answers/help here.
You are not alone. God is with you and will show you the way if you seek his love. My prayers go to you and may you find your earthly peace through Gods word and promises!
I'm sorry how u feel . All whst I know is no situation remain the same. So 1 day things will change. You deserve all the love in this world
I used to believe that I was supposed to be alone, that I wasn't worth anyone's time. I believed I could deal with this overbearing sadness that defined who I was and what I did. I won't say talking to people instantly made it better, but I feels like I'm doing something about it at the very least.
would you consider speaking with me? i wont spew some positive crap... im in the same boat as you. i hate myself. but talking with someone makes me feel temporarily sane... i could certainly use someone in the same boat. let me know.
I feel exactly the same way, I really hatetalking opening up to people. This is because of the fear that they'll judge me and view Me differently If I express my feelings. I also fear that they'll give up on me, when they realiseI'mtoo much of a pain to handle. I also have trouble confiding in people. I know how you feel 
I hate crying in front of people because I'm worried everyone will think I'm ugly. :(
One of the reasons why I wish not to talk is because Ialways wind up hurtingpeople with my words. They can't standtheamount ofemotional malice I inflict on myselfthat it hurts the ones I careabout till they have to get away to keep themselves from pain. Its one of the greatest contributors to my loneliness when women I love so dearly don't want to be around me because of my depression, merely builds on it in the end.
Idon'tthink anyoneshouldafraid of opening up if they need to. I think its very obvious everyone is suffering from some sort of depression in this day in age. Only problem to me is mostpeople don'thow totalk about it or react to it, that applied withfear makes it harder. I'm at thepoint where I have criedwolf too much in the eyes of loved ones yet the pain,loneliness andunrelenting self hatred remains only getting stronger.
If you don't wish to talk to any of us that's okay. We are here to help and to supportyou. Come ad join us in the teen/adult member and guest support room. Listening to what others say in similar situations to yours can be very helpful.