Want to talk but can't

@TeaCupPangolin my heart hurts for the pain and struggle you are going through right now. The people who replied in those ways just don't seem to realise how important their words are. To talk about it is the hardest part. So if they said something you were expected more of, it's normal and not venting, so don't worry. Sometimes when you want to talk about it with another, you might feel like its an off-feeling because you don't want to come out straight out with suicidal thoughts. In most occasions, people may want the other person to come to them and ask how they feel. Keeping it in is the worst. This year I told my 3 closest friends and the first people about something I went through and never told anyone. They were shocked, buy then one of my friends wanted to change the mood into something brighter, and for me it was hurtful because she wanted to change the atmosphere when I just came out with something extremely personal, right away. She didn't ask to change the mood in the way many people would think of. But more of a "ok ok. Let's just skip this and look at something else" kind of way. I still cherish her for my reasons though. So what I'm saying is that sometimes you just have to keep looking for that other person who will listen, understand and reply in a more compassionate way with truth. Saying "it's just life " isn't the answer at all and it won't help. I hope that you can find that someone. You deserve better than what 'they' say and with great honest, I wish you the best. :)

@TeaCupPangolin Do not tell us that you want to do it, rather tell us why would you want to do it? I have lost two friends this way and saw many others survive which is completely without sense, I have survived my only attempt because of a smart pharmacist lady...bebore we were not supposed to talk about this because of "site policies", now maybe we can talk...

I know relating to others doesn't help, but please tell us first what is wrong, what pushed you on the edge? Talk about your crisis...you may be surprised, but out of the big pool, some really care...

(As per 7cups policies please refer to your area emergengy and crisis contacts as soon as possible. They are proffessionals trained in these situations.)

Some really do care...

I completely get that. It's incredibly difficult to keep buried and it feels like a weight has been lifted to finally vocalise these thoughts. But I agree, you do need to be very careful who you talk to, unfortunately. Do you have a good doctor, counsellor or therapist? Or is this specifically about friends, rather than hiding it from the entire world as it was in my case?

I first told one friend earlier this week. Not my closest friend, but one who I knew would understand, remain calm, and not trivialise what I was feeling because I suspected he'd gone through it. Even that took weeks for me to do because I was also telling myself to not be an attention seeker, or something. I also told my counsellor yesterday. Both of them suggested I go see my doctor, so I'll do so today. I've gone from burying this to talking about it with potentially three people in a week. Just some suggestions if it is a general 'I need to let this out'.

Want to talk but no one to talk to. I have always been alone all my life. Literally, alone! Even if I go out somewhere, it's quite impossible for me to reach out to someone. I never had any friends. I have this Avoidant personality disorder. I really have a fucked up personality. My whole life is fucked up!!