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TeaCupPangolin
1,944 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 57 Compassion hearts47 Forum posts53 Forum upvotes64 Current upvotes64 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceApril 26, 2018
Bio

I've made a lot of progress and I see a therapist regularly (but success is not a straight line) Really wishing I had more of a support system. 

Recent forum posts
Should I tell one of my anxiety triggers that they are one?
Anxiety Support / by TeaCupPangolin
Last post
 April 18th, 2020
...See more One of my friends has about a high chance of triggering an anxiety episode whenever they interact with me. They are the only friend that has this high of an anxiety issue for me - probably because they're a certain personality mixed with being present during a certain time in my life - so its not their fault I have this issue. Should I be honest and tell them that they're an anxiety trigger for me? I hesitate because 1 - they're intwined with what little social life I have, 2 - a shared friend already did a big messy "mental health break up" with them, and 3 - they have that overanalyzing personality I'm afraid they'd take it super personally
Stop saying you love me
Relationship Stress / by TeaCupPangolin
Last post
 September 22nd, 2019
...See more I have friends that often say "I love you", or "you love me" and it just makes my skin crawl. I personally reserve declarations of love for my partner and my family. My therapist says I just have different boundaries, and it's okay and healthy to maintain them. My question is, how do I tell my friends to just sorta back off a bit and respect my personal boundaries? Especially if some of them have been doing it for YEARS and I've just put up with it.
Asking my friend to respect me
Relationship Stress / by TeaCupPangolin
Last post
 August 17th, 2019
...See more One if my best friends always calls me an endearment (think sweetie, dear, honey) and I absolutely hate it. I always read it as condescending and dismissive, even though I know she doesn't mean it that way. I've come to realize I simply have wider personal boundaries than her. Last time I tried to ask her to stop she got crazy mad at me because she "calls everyone that!" I know she means well but I'm getting to the point I want to stop talking to her entirely. Anyone have a suggestion on how I can bring it up to her?
Want to talk but can't
Depression Support / by TeaCupPangolin
Last post
 August 1st, 2019
...See more I want to talk to friends about my suicidal thoughts and depression but I feel like I'll get a condescending "that's just life sweetie" or I'll feel like it's a comparison (which I'll lose, my life is good I just hate myself lol) Everytime I try to reach out I stop myself, I half said it today but I got the "that's being a human sweetie we all are tired" and it's just such a pain I have to give my friends the "I'm good" shell or else I'm put into a pity box or some such. Not sure if I'm just venting or need advice. I should probably just save it for my therapist.
Need friends but not that one
Relationship Stress / by TeaCupPangolin
Last post
 May 7th, 2019
...See more I typed a novel and 7cups just deleted it so maybe I'll try to be more succinct 1. I'm living the adult life, I have a long term partner I love, but I need to "find my tribe" because I'm lonely and need that sweet sweet friend group support. 2. One of my old friends, who always sorta overstepped my boundaries, now gives me anxiety, and represents a hunk of my life I want to leave to nostalgia, keeps trying to talk to me. Like I'd be fine if she just stayed socially passive like the rest of our shared old friend group that meets up like twice a year, but it feels like she's trying to stay in my face. I also realized a chunk of our friendship was because of convenience, sounds awful but you know we all do it. I guess I'm just looking for advice on the situation? I'm stressed and tired and just want to be happy.
I'd rather not - friendship
Relationship Stress / by TeaCupPangolin
Last post
 October 5th, 2018
...See more I have a friend who is that person that is well intentioned but sort of oversteps my boundaries? Like I was in college and finding my way and starting to get independent right when she joined my major. She became a sort of constant tagalong, and due to her mental health/the fact she's younger than me I felt obligated to look out for her. I felt I had to keep the friendship positive because it was easier that way. Now that we're out of college, I guess I retoractively hate her? Like there's a lot of college memories I wish I had with other people and everytime she talks to me I feel like she's trying to shoehorn herself into more of my life and it sends me into a panic. We have a a lot of shared friends and I don't mind when we're both in the crowd, but I honestly never want to interact with her one-on-one ever again and I'm not sure how to say that nicely. Just seeing if anyone has any feedback or thoughts on a situation like this.
Anxious or Questioning?
Anxiety Support / by TeaCupPangolin
Last post
 September 11th, 2018
...See more I posted in the LGBT+ community already, but I figured here would be okay too. II' a 26 y/o woman in a long term relationship with a man, but for yhe last 5-ish months I've had this irrational anxiety about possibly being secretly lesbian. I've always identified as ace/demi but maybe slightly bi romantic, maybe comfortably vague. But in these months since this bad funk started I've done a lot of research and realized I've had ocd behavior, probably bouts of depression and a lot of paranoia. I know it's a weird subject, but the first time I read about HOCD (homo/heterosexual OCD, some call it SOCD for sexual instead) it felt like a breakthrough. It sounded exactly how I felt. So I think my main fear is essentially existential? Like I might not be me, like there might be a secret stranger that's going to take over my body and I'll have to leave my boyfriend and quit wearing the girly stuff I like. I feel like a toddler that's upset because they think they're getting sold to the circus and they don't want to go, I'm utterly convinced but it's probably completely irrational. I've sorta self-isolated and I don't have any good coping mechanisms. It's weird. Is talking about it ruminating? I miss not being afraid of my own brain. Let me know if this doesn't belong here.
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