Today's the first time that I feel like I wanted to stop existing.
Hey guys! A bit strange but I just thought of this a while ago. I wasn't too shocked by it, but I found it interesting to have had that thought.
I've had my days. The good, the bad, and the worst. The times when I felt like I want this were when I felt like I was at my lowest: stuck in a dysfunctional household, surviving a toxic relationship, and healing from a medical surgery.
But I found it strange that I would feel that way.
I had a decent remote job that was paying well. I was living in an apartment that gave me enough personal space. I don't have a lot of friends anymore, but I don't take time from my day to mingle with toxic circles too.
It's just that I don't find passion in anything anymore. I feel like I'm just floating through life and letting time pass by.
@xiaolongwow It's understandable to feel strange about having such thought but I guess sometimes in life we just pass by a few moments and there can be many reasons. Maybe you can try to identify what led you to this feeling, try to find something new that interests you, doesn't have to be something big or fancy.. it can be as simple as evening walks or painting clouds. There are so many things to try so I'm sure you will find something that brings you joy. Hope things get better for you ^-^ <3
Yeah, maybe I should pay no thought and find ways to be grateful instead. Thank you for the reminder ❤️
@xiaolongwow <3 You can pay attention to your thoughts and feeling, acknowledge them and address what bothers you also while being grateful for all the other things that brings you joy. You don't have to ignore one. With time we figure out how much attention we need to give based on how important some thing is to us. Feel better soon ^-^
You are worth fighting for, you are more than good enough. ❤️❤️
thank you for the kind words. ❤️ I've been thinking about it and I think I only feel loved by myself. I have this belief that the people around me (whether it is my family, my boyfriend, or my friends) only cares about me because of what I can do for them.
That is actually part of depression. It is a feeling of extreme disengagement. But you can slowly build something back.
Do you get outside at all? Sometimes just starting with a daily walk can really make a difference. @xiaolongwow
You're right, I do think I'm mildly depressed. I used to walk all the time, but I recently moved to a sketchy neighborhood so I can't go too often. I also find that my walks don't make me happy like I used to
Well, there are lots of other things that you can try. Do you like doing art or listening to music. Anything that can put your brain in a different spot can be a godsend.@xiaolongwow