The Rabbit Hole

I'm back there again. The place that's so deep and dark, where the walls are nothing but dirt and stone that gather under my fingernails as I try to claw my way out. And eventually, I give up, because I know I can't climb out. That's how I feel right now. My husband is bi-polar, my entire family outside of myself has CP, my mother broke her ankle in two places bringing me something I needed because I was too weak to be able to leave the house and get it myself, money issues that are not of my doing are arising, and I sit here remembering when I had a family member I connected with so much but I don't talk to her anymore because she's so deep in her alcoholism she isn't the aunt I knew and loved. So I can't get help physically, when I need it, because my family is disabled, I am critized by strangers if I don't act a way I should around them, I don't want to burden my husband more when he is learning about his own issues, and I can't even get my meds stabalized because my doctor keeps wanting to change them or won't give me refills. This is so a TL;DR situation, but I'm at my wits end. I've lied down in the hole. I'm too exhausted to keep trying to climb anymore.