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offthebeat
3,421 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 224 Compassion hearts234 Forum posts151 Forum upvotes169 Current upvotes169 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2017 Member sinceAugust 25, 2016
Bio
I have been dealing with mental illness for many, many years and have a lot of experience from my own life and my education. I am always here to lend a shoulder to those who need it, and know some excellent coping exercises for those who might need a little suggestion on where to start. I love music and all forms of art, the outdoors, and knowledge. I one day hope to help end the stigma against mental illness, to make great strides in creating an environment where there is understanding and compassion.
Recent forum posts
The Rabbit Hole
Depression Support / by offthebeat
Last post
 April 29th, 2017
...See more I'm back there again. The place that's so deep and dark, where the walls are nothing but dirt and stone that gather under my fingernails as I try to claw my way out. And eventually, I give up, because I know I can't climb out. That's how I feel right now. My husband is bi-polar, my entire family outside of myself has CP, my mother broke her ankle in two places bringing me something I needed because I was too weak to be able to leave the house and get it myself, money issues that are not of my doing are arising, and I sit here remembering when I had a family member I connected with so much but I don't talk to her anymore because she's so deep in her alcoholism she isn't the aunt I knew and loved. So I can't get help physically, when I need it, because my family is disabled, I am critized by strangers if I don't act a way I should around them, I don't want to burden my husband more when he is learning about his own issues, and I can't even get my meds stabalized because my doctor keeps wanting to change them or won't give me refills. This is so a TL;DR situation, but I'm at my wits end. I've lied down in the hole. I'm too exhausted to keep trying to climb anymore.
Deep, crippling depression.
Depression Support / by offthebeat
Last post
 July 15th, 2017
...See more Today it continues, with nothing specific except that I feel alone, rejected, and malfunctional. I feel like I am warring with myself; I have this brain that wants to die with a body that wants to live. A constant struggle. I'm exhausted and I'm so, so, sad that I don't even know if I'll see the light again, not that I even remember that last time I saw it in the first place. I reached out to friends, but they have problems of their own I don't need to burden. I tried the Sucide Prevention Hotline but it did no good. Talk therapy and my therapist doesn't seem to help either. And honestly, as much as I appreciate the positive thoughts and the community, even talking to a listener on here makes no difference. I am not okay. I accept this. What I don't accept is the toture and the fact that I don't know how long it's gonna keep lasting or how long I can keep putting up with it.
Depression taking over.
Depression Support / by offthebeat
Last post
 July 15th, 2017
...See more I haven't been on my meds for a few days because of a doctor mishap and while I got them back I am having one of those days where I just want to cry and watch the Hours over and over. My partner putting his stress on me as well isn't helping, and I just feel weak.
Bipolar Partner
Relationship Stress / by offthebeat
Last post
 March 2nd, 2017
...See more My husband had bipolar disorder, something that has presented itself more recently and it's had a huge affect on our relationship and my own development with my mental illness. We've brought up therapy and sometimes he's willing and sometimes he's not, but he clearly needs help and medication. I tried making an appointment for him but he had to work and a lot of the other doctors I speak to need him to make the actual appointment. Any advice on how to get a bipolar partner to go to a doctor and what to do when they're having an episode?
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