Hi @luxx454,
Thank you for responding. Here comes my *so-called excuses as my well meaning few freinds say to me. What they don't understand is all the words in the world doesnt change the fact that they never take me out for any social activities. Im disabled and stuck at home with zero money. Ive been very optimistic, and those few freinds do mean well, they bring me food and supplies every three months, and the advice never stops coming; but they dont understand the daily physical challenges I have. Its almost like the giving me food and supplies helps them feel good about themselves, which is nice, but they are always saying things like "go fishing" or "go to church" but when i call on Sunday mornings and hint about church, they never have invited me to go with them. I was bought a fishing license and given a fishing pole but i couldnt get anybody to go fishing with me. Im 30 minutes from the city and stuck out in the country. All i have is 7cups and the neighbor's chickens to talk to. Ive contacted social services and offer to volunteer but they just gave me food and forget about me. The system is broken. They give food, but i dont need food. I need to be a part of something. I need to have a way to give of myself or teach my talents to others.
Ive tried for 15 months with an open mind but havent found anybody to come offer me an activity or a way to get involved.
Its almost like the resources they offer are a fasade. Not actually existing. I struggle to walk and do my daily chores, but i keep hearing people talking to me like im well.
They say: get a part time job, or start a business. They continue to make me feel bad and they dont even know it.
When im confined to a wheelchair, will they still continue to make me feel bad?
I try so hard, im upbeat when tbey call, i am at my best hiding my disabilities so i think they dont hear me when im telling them i can barely put on my pants, or i cook sitting on a stool. Im honest about my health but it goes unheard. Its to the point i feel wirse and dread their help. Im always very kind and in no position to tell them they are hurting me, not helping.
Its getting very hopeless trying to find a place to fit in and get help so i can have any sort of social life at all. Im not picky; bingo, crafting, anything at all.
Im a good communicator but getting the kind of help i really need has been impissible and i cannot understand. Cant they see im always offering, always willing yet i never leave my home other than 1 doctor visit ever 2 months, food shopping, and to go pay my rent? Im broke on my budget so tight i go without many things. After rent, medicine, electric, and insurance, i have about $12-$14 left. I cant keep this up much longer, im exhausted, depressed, and have no endurance and struggle to walk. Those are facts, not excuses, and its just sad they seem to call them excuses (maybe it helps them sleep at night) 😔
