Struggling

I always tell myself I'm fine because it goes away. But depression always comes back and it's exhausting trying to fight it again and again. When it's bad, I feel like I'm trapped in silence and can't reach out or don't know how to. And then when I feel better again, everything seems fine and I tell myself I don't need help. So I don't ask for help. I should be able to manage because I can still hide it most of the time. I should be able to "get over it." But I can't.