Sometimes sorry is enough. We must move forward.

Battling with depression, and possibly ADHD leaves me wanting to close in and just make everything STOP. Recently, I had yet another incident of me not showing up and doing my duty. I told someone, yes, I can help write your paper. From scratch. They gave me 5 day notice for a 10 page English paper (and yes they offered money). Day by day passed. I had notes of what I wanted it to be about. I had all the tabs open on the different articles, on the last day of writing. But I just felt so much like an imposter, and didn't think I could write. Writing few words at a time...I felt actual pain and didn't believe in myself. I have eczema too and just scratching my hands over and over gave me something to keep my mind on instead of how "important" this paper is. I got out of my chair, doing some walking, and it's just my mind was unable to focus on doing the writing, step by step.

Hours passed and it was finally nearing deadline. I went ahead and sent it (with gaps in paragraphs, being unfinished) to the "client" and got no word from him yet. Actually the person is just a mutual friend and I don't have their email so I sent it to my closer friend...in my email I said I'm sorry, I am a mentally disabled person. It was my mistake to say yes. Sooo, what are your thoughts on my explanation? Of a paper that was half the length of minimum requirement. Should I have just tried harder, maybe picture myself in his shoes and just feel ridden with guilt and never move forward? What am I supposed to feel, is my question now. If I move forward I still don't know what my boundary is and ill always just say no. I'm worried I'll always be less than, and never finish projects.