My 7 Cups Dream Journal

Interesting. Have you been reading or watching anything about Norse gods lately?@integrityblues

I really haven’t been and that was why that bit was so surprising.

Entry 15

There was some kind of an event at a trailer park where I once lived as a kid, and since I kept seeing my two aunts I thought it was something about my father. Maybe another Celebration of Life since I bowed out of the real one?

I kept avoiding them, saying I had to find a bathroom but the only one I could find had no stalls, just a bench of toilet seats that all these other women were using. I couldn’t get in for the longest time, and when I did I ended up next to a guy and feeling very uncomfortable.

When I finally returned to one of my aunts she started to guilt me for finding reasons not to be present and was only sort of understanding when I mentioned the problem with the restroom.

Don't feel guilty about missing the real one. You did what you needed to do at that moment. It appearing in your dreams is fine, but only if you don't let yourself feel bad after it. @integrityblues

Yeah, I try not to feel bad about it. I feel like I disappointed my aunt a little, but I’d already done more than I thought I could by just viewing his body.

Yes, you did good. I hope that everything else is going well and your dreams tonight contain rainbows. @integrityblues

Entry 16: Fist Bump Failure

I was just interacting with a person and I was super proud of myself for even being outside, then it was about time for us to say goodbye.

They offered their hand and I excitedly offered mine for a handshake. Then we both laughed because they were trying to fist bump me!

I quickly learned that I literally couldn’t do a fist bump. It was like I forgot how and even though they were explaining how it worked I still kept messing up.

It was so silly, I knew it was, but when we eventually had to wave goodby instead of successfully bumping fists I was struck by a wave of failure.

Maybe the dream is to remind you of what is really important - you were outside. That was the accomplishment. What you do once you get there can cause a sense of failure but it is an inaccurate one. You made it outside which you should be proud of. @integrityblues

It would be a better way to frame it, that’s for sure.

Entry 17: The longest shift ever

I appeared to be working at my old job again, aware of my real life situation and doing it anyway because I needed the money.

I’d begun my shift by doing awesome customer service while at the register. I was doing pretty well, all in all, then it became later and later and I got so confused.

I kept looking at the sheet of paper left at each register to list all front end employees shifts, and finally realized my very first shift was an extended shift to close the store. I had thought the shift would be over at 5! Then it got closer to 10 and more of my customers became awful.

One of them kept trying to take flowers from arrangements and bouquets from the floral department and pay for only a few blooms. As I was having to handle that I noticed that I’d taken my attention away from the belt and that many items had made it past me without getting scanned.

Then when I was having trouble closing my check stand because more customers were flooding into my lane and ignoring the signs and that my light was off.

I finally got away and spoke to someone upstairs who confirmed that this was my shift for the whole week.

I got overwhelmed and thought about quitting so I could leave.

Well at least you don't actually have that job! I hope that your next dream is more peaceful. @integrityblues

Thanks

Entry 18

It was a weird dream but it ended with me finding a couple of boxes of cereal. They looked like Honey Nut Cheerios with Hostess Twinkies, but not the cereal version because that exists somewhere. Like the actual cream filled Twinkies were inside the box of cereal!

Interesting. I think that I would find a cereal like that way too sweet to eat in the morning. @integrityblues

Yes. I never realized that Hostess came out with a Twinkie cereal (just sugar dusted cereal bits that look like Twinkies) but even in the dream I found the inclusion of actual Twinkies in Cheerios to be a bit much.

Entry 19: (trigger warning for death and killing rabbits)

I was visiting a person I personally think has long since passed away. I didn’t like her, she was cruel and mean, so the only reason why I think she was there was because the anniversary of my friend’s passing is coming.

So I get there with friends or family members and put some stuff away in one of many spare rooms- when I woke up the next day neither me or my friends/family could find our stuff. So the woman ended up taking all of it and lying about it.

I called her out for it and tried taking our stuff back. Then I found all these rabbits! They were black and gray, young and older, and just kept flooding the area and getting in my way. I had enough when I was told I would have to care for them since it was in my spare room.

I ended up having to kill them, even as I was sobbing and exclaiming ‘why is this something I have to do, why am I the one?’

I then got in the woman’s face and started calling her out for how she treated everyone, how she treated me, and how she disrespected my dead friend.

She began pretending to cry and tried to get her neighbors to stand with her against us but no one would once we showed them the evidence.

I woke up unnerved and feeling off.

I can imagine that you felt unnerved. Your brain was processing trauma via your dreams. Trauma is hard awake or asleep. But remind yourself that processing trauma is always progress even when its painful.

I hope that you have a beautiful sleep tonight though.@integrityblues

Thanks bestVase. I hope so too.

Entry 20: fighting a war (trigger warning: blood and violence)

Yesterday I woke up from a dream where I was fighting a war within my neighborhood.

Somehow some important things belonging to me and my sister who is currently going through a lot of trouble. I had to go out and hide in bushes armed with a cleaver to rescue what was supposed to be my father’s urn and some other things belonging to my sister. My sister was hiding in the bushes and refused to do anything like she’s doing now.

I had to creep out from the bushes and face some people I didn’t know, and at best gave one a flesh wound because even in the dream I was squeamish about fighting.

Ugh. I have to get ready for therapy now.

Sorry about that. I hope that you can process some of it during therapy. It is definitely all the stress and worry that you have right now. @integrityblues

My therapy session was canceled. She was sick.

Ugh. Sending lots of peace until you can get an appointment. @integrityblues

Thank you, bestVase. I’m trying to keep busy in the meantime. I’m writing a grocery list that I’ll send to my aunt, I plan to try making pistachio flour and bake snickerdoodles or peanut butter cookies this week.

I’m also going to try and brush up on my HTML and CSS computer languages to get hired for more technical writing jobs. Maybe get a WordPress and start generating samples for a portfolio.

Those are great skills to brush up on. How do you make pistachio flour? That is one that I haven't done before. @integrityblues

Oh, you make it the same way you make almond flour. It requires some blanching and a food processor or a blender, breaking down the nuts enough to create a powder before it becomes a paste. It’s my first time making nut based flour. I’ve been interested in cutting my carbs but still enjoying baking the occasional batch of cookies.

I have used almond flour a number of times, but not pistachio. It sounds interesting. I should be cutting carbs more than I am.

@integrityblues

This is such an interesting dream you had, I'm so glad to hear to hear the kittens were alive at the end.

Entry 21: Balding

It was near the end but I dreamt that I waited too long to wash and brush my hair and that I suddenly was balding in patches and strips all over my head. I decided to put on my hat but was very nervous about my hat being knocked off and showing everyone that I was losing my hair.

I had that dream yesterday, the day I was preparing to go and visit my mother in spite of her worries about me maybe getting stabbed on the Metro Rail or bus. The dream was probably about the stress I was handling considering if something bad did happen during the trip my mom would use it as an excuse for me to never come over again, and I really wanted the experience to be a positive one since I was bringing her the book I got on Amazon but didn’t send to her house.

I hope that you had a good visit with your mom. Sorry that she worries so much.

It is interesting that your brain connects it to balding. That certainly would be a rough thing if it happened quickly. Though bald is ultimately beautiful. @integrityblues

It isn’t uncommon for losing hair in a dream to symbolize stress and worry, but ultimately the meaning is derived from your personal response to seeing or experiencing it in the dream- I was startled but mostly because I was getting ready to see people and wanted to look nicer because I’ve been slacking and not taking care of myself.

The fact that I was hiding it under a hat to look normal probably indicates that I was trying to hide how my depression makes me not care for myself but also project that I’m okay and my mom doesn’t have to worry about me too.

She’s worried enough about my younger sister…

Remember what I said about bald being beautiful? Depression on some level is the same kind of thing. I wouldn't call it beautiful, but it is part of you that ultimately makes you stronger and more compassionate.

It is okay to keep your mom from worrying, but not if you get hurt in the process. Sometimes being just a little honest with her can be good too.@integrityblues

I try to but she gets frightened so easily. I most often have to, or find myself trying to reassure her with how good I’m doing even if I’m lying: I’m so cool, I’m awesome, and so on. And then I get off the phone and stare up at my ceiling for a minute before getting on with things.

I can totally get that. It is hard to burden weaker parents. I do that with my own sometimes. It takes a bunch of strength though. It is good that you are trying to recalibrate before you move on with your day after you talk to your mom. @integrityblues

Entry 22: art final horror

I was stuck in an art class and taking a final exam.

I was supposed to be painting but after wasting so much time I was finally given a pencil and was warned that I had less than 30 minutes left.

I began sketching something from within the room and it was pretty decent for something done in the last minute.

Then the dream became a bit of a horror movie. Somehow the sketch got lost on a computer screen and every time I thought I’d removed enough tabs and a piece of the sketch was revealed it turned out to be something unrelated. And once again, there were cats and kittens everywhere in the room and wherever I went to look for the physical sketch.

At first my professor was understanding but she quickly gave up. I had long since run out of time. I was going to fail the class and would have to repeat it, which was disappointing because to me it meant I can’t create anything artistic anymore.

I was chatting on *** the other day with a fellow professor who asked us all why she still had that dream about failing a course after getting a PhD and it no longer mattered. Mine is always failing PE. I think that it is just a dream of perfectionist school people.@integrityblues

I think it’s just my brain’s way of making me work through any issue by applying familiar but still sort of relevant images to it.

I still don’t get why cats show up so often in any of my dreams. The internet says it’s something about intuition or creativity. I’ll admit that’s been my biggest issue lately; I’m not creative or creating anything at all, and most things I used to enjoy don’t mean anything to me right now.

I have to work on that because my intake appointment with the DOR is coming in September and I need to be in a better headspace.

In what ways are you thinking about creativity?@integrityblues

I used to write so much more, but I’ve not really enjoyed anything I’ve tried to do in the last year. It’s like it’s gone or I used it up?

It isn't used up at all. You just need to start writing things in new ways. The old topics aren't going to work for a while. Your brain is probably blocking them. But what about something like writing a bizarre short story based around one of your dreams? Think of a kind of genre that you normally don't write in. By experimenting with that you might get over the hump. @integrityblues

That’s a good plan. I’ll have to give it a try.