Knowing you're in a spiral, yet...not changing
I've been in a spiral for a few days. Each day is a little worse than the last - and I know its mostly self-talk that's driving me down.
I know what's bothering me, I know that the talk isn't real, but...I just can't either engage in the right activities to get me back on the right path, or whatever.
How can I find a way to get back to normal when all my brain wants is to continue going down the black hole?
@Bazin I think the best thing to do is to distract yourself. I do that, and most of the time I am safe from my inner negativity. Always have something to do: listen to music, if you have some hobbies do that for an hour or two, I mostly just surf the internet and watch funny youtube videos. Maybe start watching a comedy TV Show? For me, the hardest time is when I go to sleep and don't have anything to distract me, so sometimes we just have to stay strong at times like that... And try to keep your mind busy as long as possible. Good luck!
PS One more thing, if you have any toxic people around you, try to distance yourself from them as much as possible. I think that my negative self talk comes from how unfriendly people are to me. Maybe you have some toxic relationships too?
@WhiteBearClub Thank you for the response. Definitely I've been neglecting using the things I enjoy as distractions. That's part of the issue.
I'm in the same situation and I know how hard it is. It even affects me physically and my chronic neck pain gets worse. What works for me is writing, reading a book (I go for novels because I often feel like my brain is too tired to process a sentence in a science or philosophy book lol), watching a movie/series. Distracting yourself helps but sometimes it keeps you from noticing the small changes in your mood and if you become kind of addicted to the distraction you might start using it as an escape: I do that a lot and I know it's bad but I can't help it, prefer the escape over having to deal with the darkness of the hole and try to solve my problems.
@Raya501Thanks! Yes, I've been neglecting my distractions lately in favor of trying to do other things to make others happy.
Thank you for your words!
@Raya501
I get chronic neck pains too. Sometimes just from stress or from not sleeping or typing in wrong positions. Hydration helps me a bit with it.
@CoinFountain I have to admit that I don't drink enough water. I'm definitely going to take care of that.
@Bazin
I recommend taking the Anxiety, Depression and Getting Stuck self help guides which are in the Path menu of 7cups if you haven't already. Anxiety one in particular is helping me somewhat turn my throughts around, even the ones I'm not immediately aware I'm having at first. Distraction is only a short term temporary bandaid which can end up hurting more long term if it ends up with avoidance of the problem(s) at hand. If you do need a temporary distraction to stop your thoughts from inhibiting working on something, fast upbeat music I've found can work by a sort of sensory overload which is different than avoidance. You will need to keep practicing it each day.
There's also a chance that if your serotonin has dropped too low that you won't have as easy a time with doing any of the above as someone with enough serotonin would be able to. Medications can help with that but you'd need to see a doctor in that case. There was a point when I wasn't able to get back to positive thinking and it felt like I'd fell down a well and was drowning in negative without anything to hold onto and the meds did help me...which is also not a permanent cure all because you'll still need to practice with the turning thoughts around.
@CoinFountain Thank you for the recommendations, I will take a look into that.
You're right, the distractions are only temporary and whatnot. Self care and 'distractions' aren't the same thing, which I'm kind of using interchangibly here so gotta be mindful there.
I am on medication, but everyone thinks it's the right dose and I'm just needing to develop skills - which is fine. I think it's not like 'bad' just...I'm stuck I know I'm stuck and just need to break through.
@Bazin.... well, my dear, you are here on 7cups for one and you are talking about your hurt and reaching out to others...I would say that is a very big accomplishment! I feel your pain my fellow sufferer and wish you continued healing on your journey....
@Bazin Try something that'll get you out of your negative thoughts. So like meditation or listening to music, or whatever activity that'll shut out all the negative thoughts!
You've gotten a lot of good suggestions...the ones I'd have probably given, too. But I thought I'd add a little personal anecdote.
Back last spring, I was setting goals with my therapist. We'd been focusing on self-talk since I'd been having trouble with a lot of negative self-talk. So for one of my goals, I chose to write an affirmation for each negative thought I had toward myself. After about a day and a half, I was very cognizant of any approaching negative self-talk and nipped it in the bud because I'd very quickly decided I wasn't spending all that time writing affirmation after affirmation. LOL! I don't think I'll ever make a goal like that again! 
Although I guess one could argue that I'd made a good goal since it seemed to have worked like a charm. 
Every time I think back on that week, I get a really good laugh out of it. 
Best of wishes on getting out of that spiral you're in. You *can* do it. You've definitely got this!
@Bazin slowly, step by step you begin to implement more positive habits into your life. eventualy new habits will form, replacing the negative ones. right now your mind is in a negative cycle, but these patterns can be reversed. you can pm me anytime and we can talk more (: