Just going downhill

I've been diagnosed with depression for the past five years, almost six now. My feeling and emotions usually fluctuate a lot but this past week I feel like everything has just gotten worse and worse. I told my mother a few months ago that I'd gotten diagnosed (we had never been close before, working on it now) and she did not believe me. She says I'm happy and bubbly and everyone gets unhappy sometimes. I've been cranky for the past few days and she got upset at me saying how I'm making everyone miserable just being around them. I explained to her that just lately I've been very unhappy. Like nothing is fun for me anymore, nothing that I do during my day makes me feel like it's worth getting out of bed for.

Maybe it's because it's summer and I don't see people very much because we live to far away but I'm feeling very lonely. It's hard for me to get out of bed every day and it's even harder to fall asleep and stay asleep at night. I feel like I'm getting nothing done, I haven't cleaned my room or finished my schoolwork from the past year. I can't even read the books that I used to and I haven't painted in months, I have no ambition to. Which is very stressful for me because I sell my paintings, meaning that if they aren't being done then money isn't coming in.

My mother suggested a little while ago to keep a "Happy Journal" and write down one thing every day that I did or saw that made me happy. I think it's a good idea but some days I can't think of anything that made me happy through the day. Other days it seems like the easiest thing in the world to do.

I'm just feeling like I'm slipping down a mud hill with no stop in sight and I don't know how far I'm going to go before it's to late to get back up...