It's too much
I'm currently living on myvown after having moved for a job i got. Having to take care of daily life is becoming too stressful for me because once i get on track to doing one thing another problem seems to pop up that pulls me back and i feel like i'm taking one step forward and two back. That, together with family problems and the obvious stresses of meeting deadlines is putting me closer to wondering if what i'm doing is even worth it for me. I isolate myself from people when i get like this and have anxiety attacks where i have to excuse myself from people to calm down. I can't eat even though my body tells me i'm hungry, as soon as i start i lose my apettite. I don't think I would even be missed. My life has become a wreck because of the poor decisions i made in the past. I've made mistakes and didn't bother fixing them. It's no one but my own fault and I can't fix it. I'm literally sobbing as i type this knowing that I'll never do anything meaningful enough to want to stay living
@TemporaryPurpose91
Hi there,
It's so sad to hear how you've been struggling recently. How long have you felt this way? Was it just triggered by moving out and suddenly feeling overwhelmed or has it been this way for a while? What about your support network?
You mentioned no one would miss you if you were gone, what is making you feel like everyhting is so hopeless?
Lisa
@OceanCounselling Its been this way for a while. Moving out only added to feeling overwhelmed and like i said I isolate myself from people so I have no real connection or relationship with anyone
@OceanCounselling
When I started feeling this overwhelmed I needed to go on meds to regain enough focus and energy just to take care of myself (feeding, showering and getting out of house for just a short walk sort of thing). Isolation will only make things worse as humans are not meant to be totally closed off from others. I have a lot of social anxiety too. Going to volunteer at an animal shelter helped both me and the cats get social contact we both needed at least once a week (preferably daily just for even 15 min just to see another creature's face in person and you don't necessarily need to communicate verbally with them for it to help feeling less isolated). You aren't alone. Life has meaning but it can be much harder to see it without enough active serotonin in brain. SSRI only handle the reuptake valve which keeps it active so you'll need sunlight and vitamin D3 for serotonin to be produced to high enough level for meds to even work that well. It sounds like you could benefit greatly from seeing a doctor before things get worse. Things can get better but only if you stay alive and accept what help resources are out there. <3
@TemporaryPurpose91 I know exactly how you feel and i'm going through something similar right now. The thing that helps me the most is taking my meds and eating something at least at dinner. I'll snack during the day and eat a bigger meal when I really get hungry. It's not ideal but it's something. I'm also taking showers and baths at night to relax and it helps me to feel a little bit better. I hope you feel better soon 
