Is this it

I feel the exact same way. Other "normal" people don't get it.

I'm sick of hearing people tell me it'll get better. When? When is it my turn? There are so many people out there that get everything they want. I just want one thing - ONE MOTHER FUCKING THING to make me happy. Is that so hard to ask??

I shouldn't have to sit there and make a small list of things that I did well this week. I should be able to feel like I've done something worth while without having to think about it.

I agree. I'd end it all today if it weren't too scared that it wouldn't work. Then I'd have to live with the shame of being "the girl who sucks at life so bad she couldn't even die right."

I just wish i could go somewhere secluded and die unnoticed. Nobody to "mourn" me and everyone just go on like they are. I dont want others to fell sad or happy that I left, just indifferent like "oh yea i havent seen him in a while" i dont want anyone at my funeral

Hi, I know how both of you feel because I have felt like that time and time again. I am 37 years old and it still feels like I have not done anything with my life but on the bright side my family only popped out many children in an already over populated world. I thought that by now I would have a plan in place for my life but I was wrong. I have thought about suicide but only so the constant pain of this life would end. Fortunately for me, I am just too lazy to follow through with anything in my life. I would love to say that it gets better but lately it is just a suck fest of broken dreams. Maybe the new year will bring new hope to all of us.

No one can really know, or understand any of your suffering. You are each individuals, with different circumstances that bring you where you are today.

I firmly believe that we are all suffering in one way or another, some may hide it better but it is there beneath the surface.

Even though each of us suffers uniquely we are communally joined by the desire to find the cessation of our suffering. We do this, usually, without truly looking towards the cause, so we often try and 'make ourselves' happy with things that do just the opposite. (I'm thinking about all the things people abuse to 'distract' themselves from 'shiny objects' to alcohol & drugs, to food, to sex-- just to name a few.)

So, then what? (That's the million dollar question.) We must find it in ourselves to offer ourselves patience, love, kindness, and grace. There is no one more deserving than you. If you need some type of help (that is not harmful), go for it. My first five years of therapy were two 1-hour sessions with a psychiatrist at an outpatient facility. During that time I journaled every day, began going much deeper into my religious leanings, and gave up anything that might be addictive. (I abused alcohol & opiates prior to my treatment.)

That was almost 15 years ago. I still see a therapist, although once every other week now and I am able to work. In no way am I suggesting my method for anyone!!! That door was for me, and me alone.

All I suggest is to do what you need to do to get 'on the path'. It is the trip that is Joyous, not the destination. Will you fall? Of course; we all do. It is just a 'bookmark' where you reevaluate things and then move forward.

It is a 'path' & not a destination, in my opinion. Am I successful even most of the time? I'm probably not, but I am trying. I smile at people for no reason. (You never know when you are creating a memory for someone, and for the others, it just confuses the heck out of them.

TL;DR-- We are all in this together. Be patient and kind with yourselves. Don't try to distract your pain with things that only bring more pain. Smile. Enjoy the ride.

I am

I agree with u jiff. I feel the same way as you. As i was typing lenghty thread here sudden vanished everything lol. See how unlucky im. But no worries i do post about life in some other time here. Its burden free feeling when we share with right people.

@ivoryGlobe5931

No worries about the lost post. I believe that built into every beautiful vase is a broken vase. It is just the way of our world.

We are all on this down hill ride together. Rather than wondering how we got to the top of the hill, we might as well enjoy the ride!

Yes jiff all you said is so true. Thank you for your reply. Happiness always.