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Alsupaz3220
259 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes22 Current upvotes22 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2015 Member sinceOctober 22, 2015
Recent forum posts
Visions?
Disability Support / by Alsupaz3220
Last post
 November 11th, 2015
...See more I get these horrible dream-like things rarely. I will be doing alright in the normal world, and suddenly I will be in some other dimension. The last time, I was just standing in the shower, and I heard this crow caw behind me. I looked behind me and was in a cloudy, dark desert. I was strapped to the ground in heavy leather boots, and a muscle car was fast approaching me from a distance. I tried to move but I was stuck, hoping and praying that the car would steer away. It continued to come straight at me. I had only one escape, I had to saw thru my legs. I was sick to my stomach thinking about it. I could no way bring myself to do it. I was hopelessly watching my death approach me. There it ended. I returned to my shower with an awful feeling. I can feel it now just thinking of it. I hadn't died, but this was one of my worst visions, almost as bad as some of my nightmares. I think the ultimatum of sawing my legs off came from my body telling me not to cut myself. I had the night before, it felt absolutely wonderful as usual. But I hated the scars that morning, they were disgusting. I had to wear a flannel at the breakfast table so my mom wouldnt see them. Should I be worried? Ive had other 'visions' before but this was by far the worst. I usually couldnt remember a vision after it happened by day 2 or 3, but this happened last monday and I still cant fucking get it out of my head. Does this happen to anyone else? What can I do?
Is this it
Depression Support / by Alsupaz3220
Last post
 November 7th, 2015
...See more I feel done, to the brink. I would kill myself if it wasnt going to be such a burden and embarrassment to my family and myself. "Really? He killed himself just because of that?" "Wow, thats kinda pathetic" "im not saying suicide is funny but come on, haha what a loser" Is there any hope left for me? Is there an ACTUAL reason to live? Dont tell me to live just to live, what point is that? I dont think anybody around me has any idea that im like this. God i feel so clear headed when im this low, in my other states Im just blinded to my misery. There is no change if no price is paid.
Has anyone else just lost it?
Disability Support / by Alsupaz3220
Last post
 November 2nd, 2015
...See more Its gone, my life. I was sad watching it slip away from me. I saw life progress around me, without me, and I felt helpless. Looking back, this was good. I actually cared. I actually had desires, aspirations; I had goals for the future. Now, Ive lost everything. I no longer want anything, I no longer care for any other, I dont even FEAR anything anymore. Nothing matters to me, at all. I now reject every bit of motivation I feel. I drown out words of inspiration in songs I used to enjoy. I feel... empty. Bam! There it is. I am one big lazy cliche.
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