No one can really know, or understand any of your suffering. You are each individuals, with different circumstances that bring you where you are today.
I firmly believe that we are all suffering in one way or another, some may hide it better but it is there beneath the surface.
Even though each of us suffers uniquely we are communally joined by the desire to find the cessation of our suffering. We do this, usually, without truly looking towards the cause, so we often try and 'make ourselves' happy with things that do just the opposite. (I'm thinking about all the things people abuse to 'distract' themselves from 'shiny objects' to alcohol & drugs, to food, to sex-- just to name a few.)
So, then what? (That's the million dollar question.) We must find it in ourselves to offer ourselves patience, love, kindness, and grace. There is no one more deserving than you. If you need some type of help (that is not harmful), go for it. My first five years of therapy were two 1-hour sessions with a psychiatrist at an outpatient facility. During that time I journaled every day, began going much deeper into my religious leanings, and gave up anything that might be addictive. (I abused alcohol & opiates prior to my treatment.)
That was almost 15 years ago. I still see a therapist, although once every other week now and I am able to work. In no way am I suggesting my method for anyone!!! That door was for me, and me alone.
All I suggest is to do what you need to do to get 'on the path'. It is the trip that is Joyous, not the destination. Will you fall? Of course; we all do. It is just a 'bookmark' where you reevaluate things and then move forward.
It is a 'path' & not a destination, in my opinion. Am I successful even most of the time? I'm probably not, but I am trying. I smile at people for no reason. (You never know when you are creating a memory for someone, and for the others, it just confuses the heck out of them.
TL;DR-- We are all in this together. Be patient and kind with yourselves. Don't try to distract your pain with things that only bring more pain. Smile. Enjoy the ride.
I am