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I'm not sure what to put here.
Shewrites1107 November 12th, 2014
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I'm currently in the 10th grade, and I'm 16. I've been dealing with depression since I was nine, but it has progressed as I aged. I was always that tall, over weight kid in Elementary School, but it got worse when I hit middle school. I saw everyone with their flings (boyfriends and girlfriends) and I just hated myself for being fat and ugly..I started doing things to get attention but that failed and only made me think worse of myself. Everyone saw me as the outgoing kid, with a mouth to match and I can't disagree. I had friends or people I kept by my side but I knew they didn't get me. At all. By the summer of 8th grade I had joined this amazing website called Tumblr, at this time I was dealing with alot of self hate and suicidal thoughts. I met this group of girls (over the internet) who basically saved my life..this lasted for a while. I turned to the internet for everything. I used writing as an outlet, but I also gained social aniexty. When I entered highschool I noticed that I needed social skills to make it. I also noticed that kids are so damn MEAN and judgmental.. I spirled into another deep depression, mixed with alot of panic attacks. It's like whenever I take two steps forward, I get pushed back 10 steps. My parents don't get it, they think this is a teenage stage of life, and think I'm being dramatic. What do l do? I'm emtionally numb at this point and this effects my current relationship because I'm extremely passive and just keep alot to myself. Help if you can. Idk. **(excuse my errors, I rambled but I wanted to get my point across)**

6
chioo November 13th, 2014
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*hugs you* I'm so proud of you for seeking help! I know it must be very hard for you to deal with it. You're not alone anymore I'm with you! We are with you :D you and I we'll make it be alright. Message me or any other listener.. We'd love to help you out :)

Shewrites1107 OP November 14th, 2014
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It's hard but hopefully I'll get through it, thanks for even listening! :) *hugs back* it means a great deal to me.

nuuuris November 13th, 2014
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Hello there :) I have been in a situations similar as yours, you can always message me if you want. I know how is it to feel like you are never enough, to not understand people. To not be understand by your own parents...when you go to school and you have nobody...I know how does it feel. You are not alone lovie, you will always have me, you can count on me ! *hugs*

Shewrites1107 OP November 14th, 2014
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Your response meant alot to me, you were spot on with everything you said. Thank you so so soo much. I'll message you whenever I need to vent! *hugs back*

AskAstrid November 14th, 2014
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You are not alone. You are also completely ok. Just the way you are. Actually, you are awesome. Know that. Remember that. Tell yourself that when you look in the mirror. You are awesome.

I have a daughter who is 16 and has similar feelings. She too found solace in online communities. She too has and does experience social anxiety. It's ok.

She just told me the other day how she works through it. She becomes aware of the feeling she is experiencing, acknowledges it, and then knows that in order to get to the other side, she has to walk through. Because she is worth it.

You are worth it.

Believe in yourself. Seek your own approval. I'm sorry your parents do not understand.

We are not perfect. I have realized we (adults, parents, teens) are really all the same. Regardless of our age. We are each living our own human experience, the best way we can at that particular moment.

Things will get better. Focus on what you desire. What are you passionate about?

Shewrites1107 OP January 17th, 2015
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(Sorry for my late reply) But I'm passionate about my school work and my writings. One day, I hope to have a degree in Criminal psychology. Thank you for your kind words, you're greatly appreciated and I'm happy that your daughter is starting to understand herself, that's a goal for me.

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