I lost the best therapist of my life almost a month ago & I'm still really upset.
About a month ago, my therapist had to unexpectedly quit and move to a new place, which I cannot follow her to. She was very dear to my heart and honestly it feels like she died. I'm literally grieving. I'm a little better now but I still get depressed about it and kick myself for having such a good rapport with her even though she helped me so much. I haven't seen my new therapist yet and I'm worried about having a really good rapport with her too because I don't want to fall apart all over again when she leaves. I have major abandonment issues and a lot of trouble letting people in and her leaving almost feels like a betrayal in some ways. I know she couldn't help the situation and she definitely hates that she had to leave but it still just hurts so much. I'm out of town and won't be able to see my new therapist (or my cat! 😖) for about another week and a half. I just hate that I became so attached to her and depended on her because that's one of my biggest issues and I feel like it's such a hindrance to my recovery. I relapsed for the first time in 6 months after she left and my anxiety, depression, self-harm urges & suicidal thoughts have all gotten worse. I know this is temporary and I can recover from this too but, honestly, that sounds so hollow to me right now. I just feel so lost and broken. 💔
Hi @Kodachrome73
I'm sorry to be hearing that your problems have gotten worse since your therapist left.
Becoming attached is natural and you shouldn't feel bad about it. She helped you through your problems and yous had a strong bond.
Its great that you know these feelings are temporary. Meeting a new therapist could be beneficial for you.
Having another week and a half to go can seem daunting that's why it may be good to find something you enjoy doing and pass time. Going to the gym or exercising can be great if you're stuck on what to do. Reading or watching films/videos is also good as it distracts your mind for a bit.
We live in a society with amazing technology so maybe you could see whether it'll be possible to call or email your previous therapist, just so you don't feel completely lost. Yous could even arrange a catch up after some time!
Do not give up and feel free to message or the other listeners if you need us:)
@Kodachrome73 I know this is a hard time. I'm glad you're reaching out here. The therapist and client relationship is so very special. I care so much for my clients and its not a friendship or family relationship but in its own way is something extremly personal and special. And as a therapist I realize this and I'm sure you're therapist hated leaving. And its not easy with a new therapist. I want you to think about when you were a kid. Did you have a teacher you loved?. It was awesome being in her class and she/he made you feel special? It was hard at the end to leave. But then you had other teachers who you also liked and who cared about you but the first day might have felt awkward and unfamiliar. And I know a therpist isnt' like a new teacher because you arent' sharing the same personal info with a teacher BUT just like as a child you were able to get to know a new person you will get to know the new therapist. She/he won't be the same as your old therapit. We're all different. So try not to compare but to make a NEW relationship. And take care of yourself until then. keep coming here getting support and use all the suggestions Thereshope16 gave you.
@Kodachrome73 I know it sucks but there must be a way to talk to her online or talk to a kind listener here! It'll be okay sis
@Kodachrome73 Feeling so bad for you. It can be hard when that happens, and I know you might not feel like wanting to start all over with a new therapist. You have every right to feel this way, and maybe your sadness just shows how appreciating you are of her
Sorry about your lost, I can totally understand what you mean, it's really hard to find a therapist that we're compatible with :/