I just don't care
I've been praying for death for weeks already. I stopped caring about life. Too many bad things keep happening and too many times people tell me that it's gonna get better. Everything has been progressively worse.
I've pushed my friends and family away already, I don't want them to get hurt if I kill myself. I don't know why I'm rambling now. I just wanna die and throw everything away.
@xScarlet
http://www.matthaig.com/reasons-to-stay-alive/
Hang in there 
hi @xScarlet
Your story struck a cord for me as I've been right where you are. It's a very dark place and it can feel as though the brightest light wouldn't penetrate it. I know it feels as though things are just continue to get worse. And I know it's frustrating when people tell you that things will just get better. Whether things are bad or whether things are good, just don't ever let go of hope. No one can ever take that away from you. Just keep fighting and keep hold of hope. It all starts there.
One thing that I really want you to keep in your back pocket when your hope is waining is this:
When you need it, don't hesitate to call.