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xScarlet
1 125 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2016 Member sinceMarch 7, 2016
Recent forum posts
I just don't care
Depression Support / by xScarlet
Last post
 June 20th, 2016
...See more I've been praying for death for weeks already. I stopped caring about life. Too many bad things keep happening and too many times people tell me that it's gonna get better. Everything has been progressively worse. I've pushed my friends and family away already, I don't want them to get hurt if I kill myself. I don't know why I'm rambling now. I just wanna die and throw everything away.
Defeated and Dead
Depression Support / by xScarlet
Last post
 June 9th, 2016
...See more I've reached the end. I've hit the my lowest point. So dissatisfied and disappointed with my life up to this point. Not only am I the ugliest person physically and mentally, I've let so many people down. Between not being able to graduate on time and staying in a shitty school for another year and being in a shitty work environment AND family health issues, death definitely feels like a better option. Its like I'm living a constant hellish nightmare. I haven't stopped drinking these past two weeks because of this depression. Started with one beer, now it's at least 5 shots of alcohol to numb the pain. And I have no one to talk to. Rather, I don't trust any of my friends to understand anything, sad to say. I'm once again typing this tipsy while holding a bottle of painkillers. I'm so ready to take every single pill in this bottle and I don't care for the outcome anymore...
I think I need help...
Depression Support / by xScarlet
Last post
 May 29th, 2016
...See more Hi. I've been feeling so depressed this past month and I'm really at the point of giving up. I hate my life, it just feels like my depression is getting progressively worse. I lost my mom a long time ago and I found out recently that my dad's health conditions are getting worse. I'm old enough to take care of myself but I have a younger sister that needs special attention. So that's one thing that's been stressing me out. Work has been stressful too. There has barely been a work shift where I was okay, and didn't want to cry. A lot of my shifts recently have been ending with tears, anger or both. I want to quit so bad but I have to make my own money to provide for my essentials and everything else. The stress has gotten to the point where I drink a ton of alcohol almost every night to stop myself from committing suicide. But really, even that is terrifying me. I got pretty drunk a few nights ago by myself and I was ready to take at least 5 painkillers with alcohol. I was so close to putting it in my mouth until I stopped myself and began to sob. If I didn't run out of alcohol, I think I would've ended it today. Living tonight is so painful. I just wanted someone to listen, that's all. Don't care if no one responds...
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