I hate my myself

@depressed08 @acidicsunflower I'm sorry to hear that you do hate yourself =( But if you ever want to talk about it and perhaps work on not hating yourself as much, me and all the other listeners and many others are here for you! Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest things to do, but if you suceed it's one of the most amazing!

@depressed08

I am sorry you feel that way.

You know, the more you hate yourself, the more you are going to find things to despite about youself. This a viscious circle, with that nasty voice always nagging at you, who is so so wrong but you can't help to believe. This is hard, but I am sure you can learn to see how this is not true, that you have qualities, that you have beauty and that other people see it too.

That nasty voice, do you know where it comes from ? It comes from two main things : the first one is society and some stupid criteria it imposes on us, from people who carries them without even thinking about them for one minute.The second one is from you and how you have been told from birth that those criteria are the ONES and you impose them to youself.

The trick here is to think about what society and people are setting up as the norms, and realised this is bullshit. Because diversity is the key to beauty and personality. There are as much as beauty types that there is people in the world. And there is always someone ( well, more like thousands and thousands of people) to appreciate it, people who love women and men with curly hair, with curves and some belly ( I know I do). And well, who are we to tell them they are wrong ?

For the personality, I got to tell you something about humans : we all have one, unique. It makes you you. So I assume you more likely mean you think you have a boring and dull personality. I am 26 years old, and I have meet so many people. Thousands. Not a single one of them were boring or dull. Because we are so complex, with so many thoughts, pleasures, hobbies, fears, dreams, stories, opinions ... This is incredible to think about how full of things we are. And we just can't help it ^_^

And I think it is a bit like the body types. You have to be careful not to compare yourself to others. Some people are seemed like super hyper interesting because they have some personality traits or hobbies, like I don't know ... they listen to that band, they smoke weed, they wear a hat, they read that kind of things and this is so cooool, and etc. This is not because you don't like the same things, or have the same hobbies, or think like them that you are not worth of interest. You love what you love because it is interesting, as for your hobbies. Maybe not a lot of people see it like that, but well, that's not their business. Who are they to judge ? And if you need to a proof that this is cool and awesome, go speak with people who love the same things as you and see how thrilled they are to talk with you and how much they care about your opinion on something.

Having a personality doesn't mean being all over the place, the center of the attention, the heart of the party, ... Well, it can be, of course, because it defines a person, but not being like that is just an other way to be someone, a trait of your being. The way you act, bold or shy, is just something that defines you and that is charming.

I hope the looong rant doesn't make you want to run away from me, but just one last thing. About me that time.

I have spend a lot of my youth hating myself, for the way I looked and the way I was inside. I can not say I totally am over it now, but I got better. The sole problem in the end was that I was always comparing myself to other people. I was too fat because that girl was perfectly fit. My hair was hideous, because it was curly and brown, and beautiful and popular girl were blond with straigh hair. I looked clumsy, not like my friend, so full of grace. Now, I see it in an other way. I am not fat. I am curvy. And it is as beautiful as a woman with a long and slim body. My hair are beautiful, full of curls and volume.

There are still times where I hate what I see in a mirror, or where I think I am not interesting enough. I have to remind myself in that moments that I don't have to enter a mold to have some worth. And I try to give some credits to my friends : I mean, if they like me, I can't insult their taste by disrespect myself ? The last thing I learned, not always easy to accept to be honest, is that not everyone is going to like you, even if you try very hard or don't understand why. Sometimes it doesn't work between people : This is not your fault, this is not the person's fault, and you are allowed to feel upset about it, but yeh, don't take it up on you. Be gentle with yourself.

So you see, I understant what you are feelings, and there is a way to go through this and feel better about yourself. I hope that my post can help in a way, even If I know that can't solve everything. I am here to talk if you need it, or anyone who read that and feel like talking.

(Also sorry for the english mistakes ... I am french.)

@depressed08

You sound like someone who is actually quite attractive.

The features you just listed are not unattractive at all. I think freckles make girls look incredibly cute and curly/frizzy hair is my favourite kind of hair (I find blond straight hair to be kinda boring, lol). I know it sounds cliche, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As for saying that you have no personality, I don't believe you. EVERYBODY has a personality. If you think that your personality is unattractive, that is also subjective. Not everyone is going to like you, but that's okay, because there are countless people who would love to be around you.