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I feel bad for telling my friend everything
grayOwl035 June 9th, 2022

I haven't been doing well mentally, for the past 4-6 months. It's usually manageable but this time, my bout has been worse. I keep having breakdowns every 2-3 weeks, usually due to some little thing. I always confide in my best friend about my breakdowns and everything, because I feel like she has the right to know, and I feel better when I tell her.


But lately, I've been feeling very guilty because I feel like I'm dumping it all on her and I want to deal with it myself. I feel ashamed when I tell her what happened because I've been feeling the same for the past 4-6 months, and I don't want her to see me as just a sad person.


Can anyone provide any help or advice for this?

2
anxietywarrior23 June 9th, 2022

@grayOwl035

you should not feel bad! if she really cares then your friend wants to know how you are doing! everyone needs support and you deserve to be loved and heard!
calmingOcean6858 June 10th, 2022

Hi @grayOwl035 , I think you are asking a great question!


Have you expressed your concerns to your friend? For example, you could say something like, "Hey, I really appreciate you listening to me when I'm feeling down. But I also worry that I'm putting too much of a burden on you. Sometimes I feel ashamed for talking to you about this over and over without making much progress. How do you feel about it? Does this feel like a burden to you?"

It's likely that the reason she listens to you is because she really wants to see you succeed and get better.

I can think of some friends of mine that are struggling. I would love for them to succeed and get better. But I also understand that it takes time and that it isn't easy. I don't feel overly-burdened by them talking to me. If I really am too busy to talk at that moment I will let them know. In fact, if these people asked me to come over and help them clean, shop, cook, study, apply to jobs, etc I would probably really enjoy it. Because I would feel like I'm helping them improve their life and their future. But even just being a supportive listener, I think, can be a good way to help them.

You can also try to find a Listener on 7cups. That way you would have a larger support network.

I hope you doing something to improve your life a little bit. And I hope you feel better soon. Take great care of yourself! Rooting for you! Hope this helps.
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