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I don't know where to start

LA1255 May 25th, 2014

I tried with a few listeners here. But then they had to go. I tried connecting with another, then I realized I don't have the conviction to retype my entire story. It just feels much easier to jump off in front of a moving instead. I know, I'm a terrible person. Then again, at least I'm conflicted about it.

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Miracle May 25th, 2014

A lot of members find it hard to talk at first , what you can do is just talk about everyday stuff , till you find a listener you feel you could trust and maybe 'connect with' and then ask to reconnect as much as you like most listeners are more than happy to do this.Best of luck , also if you like feel free to message me :)

2 replies
LA1255 OP May 25th, 2014

That is nice to hear. Or read, in case there are some grammar Nazis around. How do i do that, miracle? Hopefully it doesn't have to need one. miracle, i mean.

1 reply
Miracle May 25th, 2014

At first of you would like to message a listener and they are not online just click on send message , then maybe you could arrange a time to connect.Otherwise just keep chatting till you find a listener you like then ask them to come online , if you would like to speak to me just send me a message and I will let you know when I can come online :)

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EmselBug123 June 16th, 2014

I was lucky enough to be connected to a great listener on my first visit to 7cupsofyea but I did find it really hard when they said they had to log off. I was worried I had said too much. Is there a time limit for online chat? And that's why they log off?

2 replies
LauraKay June 16th, 2014

Hi Emma, There isn't a limit, but all the listeners here are volunteers, and a listener can need to go for all types of reasons. They may have needed to logoff because they had an appointment in real life or their scheduled time was up or you were the 10th person they chatted with that day. I know it can be hard not to take it personally when you have just told your entire story to someone and then they have to go ... but 99% of the time it isn't personal and it could be that the listener you spoke to just didn't know how to introduce the topic of having to go more gently.

If it was someone you really enjoyed chatting with, I would encourage you to contact them again and make an appointment to chat with them. You could also try another listener, there are thousands of great listeners here! And maybe at the outset, ask them how long they have. I usually chat for about an hour to two hours, but every now and then if someone catches me at the end of a two-hour chat, I may only be able to stay for an hour. And there's also really no way that we as listeners know how long a member wants to chat for cause sometimes people just need a quick pick-me-up chat ...

So I'm sorry that happened to you and my best suggestion is to try to figure out how much time the listener has very close to the start of the chat. Hope this helps. :)

1 reply
EmselBug123 June 24th, 2014

Thanks Laura x

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SamanthaH June 17th, 2014

Hi there,

Depression is a horrible illness to have to get through, and just getting to this point, just SURVIVING, is something to be proud of, even if it is hard or you don't think you deserve to feel proud. To reach out to people here is also such a huge step, and a very brave one at that. So go you! :)

For what it's worth, I don't think you're a terrible person in the slightest from what you've said here. Depression makes people feel really guilty, often for no reason. Feeling guilty can include feeling like you're a bad person. I just say this in case you're wondering why you're thinking you're a bad person.

I would also like to say that you don't have to tell me or any other listener your life story. You can start with how you're feeling that day or at that moment. You can even just tell us what went on that day if you would like. Many listeners are here frequently and you can set up times to talk to them more than once so they could get to know you and they would have that background knowledge from previous times they've talked with you when you talk to them again.

I hope you find some of the help or comfort you need soon.

Best wishes,

Sam.

rollik June 25th, 2014

Can you tell me your story.

Torty June 30th, 2014

I don't know where to start either. I look fine but I'm not.

Eugene June 30th, 2014

Sorry to hear what you have been going through. Its always a good idea to try many listeners and not to let just a few be the experience in which you define the 7cups universe. Here is an idea, type your problems/feelings on a text editor like Word,Libreoffice Writer or Google Docs . That way you don't have to retype it all again when connecting to a new listener. With each listener there is the possibility of a totally new perspective and breakthrough.

Underwaterg1rl July 1st, 2014

I am getting married in 4 weeks. I live with my fianc& 3 year old autistic son. I also care for his 2 daughters per the custody agreement. My fiancinancially controls me & expects me to be the perfect step ford wife. He has grown very cold and works 70 hours a week. We no longer spend time together. I am reconsidering this marriage daily but have nowhere to go. I can't get married bc I'm too ashamed to admit the truth. Help- anyone?

1 reply
mari69 July 18th, 2014

Oh please try to look somewhere to go a family house or a friend home, a shelter (i dont know i what country u live) but if you marry that man you will be a slave

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