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I don't know what to do (vent)

John04 October 22nd, 2016

The person that has been helping me with my depression and has basically saved my life came over today to talk. At least that what I thought, until, after a time, she kissed me. I liked her, and that isn't the problem today. The problem is that I started to melt down. She's joining the airforce, and this was probably the last time I will ever see her, and I broke down into pieces. Now I'm here, just after cutting myself, crying and dying inside not sure what to do anymore or what the point of any of this struggle is. I just mess things up in the end, and I'm tired of this fight.

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BrightRedFlower2322 October 22nd, 2016

@John04

I'm glad you had someone to help you that's great and I'm very sorry for the sad news dose she feel the same way about you ? And I gathered you knew she was going into the air force way before I'm sure she didnt want to hurt you but probably didn't have any other way to tell you also if she's always been there for you I'm sure she won't want you harming yourself either she's probably hurting as well for hurting you I don't know I'm just saying she might have you tried contacting listener's on here they may be able to help you good luck

1 reply
John04 OP October 22nd, 2016

@BrightRedFlower2322 I'm guessing she does because she's the one that kissed me first. As far as me hurting her by doing what I did, I know, but I was weak and did the simplest thing I could to try and stop my thoughts from thinking.

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Phthalo October 22nd, 2016

She probably shouldn't have done something like that if she knew she was going away like that...

2 replies
John04 OP October 22nd, 2016

@Phthalo she still thinks that's we'll see eachother again at one point, but I doubt it. It's the military. They'll station her somewhere and at that point it'll be time to say goodbye.

1 reply
BlonDee86 October 23rd, 2016

@John04

Hi John, I'm sorry you're grieving right now! I just wanted to remind you that this separation isn't forever. Many of my friends and family are military and even though I don't get to see them as often as I'd like I still get to maintain my relationships with them through letters, emails, telephone, Skype, etc. I think you should look into these options. Try viewing this change as a challenge and some of the grief will be more manageable. Turn to your healthy coping skills right now, take a walk, cook, watch a funny cartoon. You've got this!

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