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How to Make Depressed People Feel Needed?

CoinFountain January 19th, 2017

I have a friend who has been depressed all their lives and only seems to improve mood when they feel needed. I'm wondering about different ways people can feel needed without necessarily having a job to fill at speicific times. Unfortunately they won't come here to 7cups because they think they'll hear a bunch of stuff they've heard already. I've thought of volunteering already but I don't think there's many local opportunities for them to do so where they are. Any ideas?

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exampligratia January 20th, 2017

@CoinFountain

Hello.

When you say "feel needed", I guess you mean like they contribute or give input?

A simple (but lame) idea may be that when(ever) you have a decision to make or have something that has many facets, ask them for their opinion.

Can't really think of any other way to include people and make them feel needed without them having an official job that requires having them around.

For someone to be needed, they need to have something to offer. This is how humans function, a couple feels needed because each needs the other's understanding, support, etc. So if your friend has a strength or talent that you think other people maight want a slice of, make him/her advertise that thing.

Thats the best I can come up with. All the best.

2 replies
staywithyou January 20th, 2017

@exampligratia

This is an awesome suggestion!!! Yes, don't ignore people with depression, and take thier opinion seriously can be a great way to make people feel being cared and being treated seriously :D

staywithyou January 20th, 2017

@exampligratia

This is an awesome suggestion!!! Yes, don't ignore people with depression, and take thier opinion seriously can be a great way to make people feel being cared and being treated seriously :D

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goldenPalm71 January 20th, 2017

@CoinFountain

Hey :) As a fellow depressed person (at times) I can say that the best thing you can do is help your friend be more active. Depressed people tend to lack motivation to do things. It's like a never ending cycle, it's just them feeling miserable and their depression encouraging them to keep feeling miserable. Go out with your friend at least once a week if you can, seize every opportunity to do something new and fun together.

Keep telling him you'll always be there, and make sure your actions support your words.

You could also share some of his issues/concerns with us so we can help you ...help him. laugh And tell him that many listeners have experienced depression and other mental disorders and they are regular people who have their own issues.

1 reply
CoinFountain OP January 20th, 2017

@goldenPalm71

I've told him already that there's people who deal with depression and have made progress here but he unfortunately gets so tired of people making him feel things need "fixed" or being overly upbeat about things so they don't seem to understand the depth of his situation. Someone has to be ready for help to come here in the first place.

I know more than one person who has other issues like fears being an added obstacle to things like this too...which is another thing they have to want to face the fears if the method of making them feel needed requires them to face one of those fears. For sure I make people aware that there's help for fear facing here too.

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